Does anyone else lack motivation to do household chores?

[Jemster]

I find it very hard to keep on top of things in my home. I work part time and have two dc 6 & 2. I have a chronic condition which can be painful and makes me tired. I am on fluoxetine for low mood.
I find it hard to motivate myself to do things such as housework, food shopping, ironing, cooking meals from scratch. My dh helps out but I hate being like this as I don't feel I'm being a very good mother or wife.
Some days I'm so exhausted I just fall asleep on sofa as soon as little ones are in bed.
From what I've read these are quite common effects of depression but it's no good when my children depend on me.
Can anyone else relate or offer any advice please?

You're a wife, a mother, your work and you run a household ! If you weren't tired, you'd be super woman!

It's blood hard work having a family, working and running a home. Don't be so hard on yourself. In the mad chaotic routine, you must make some time for yourself (seriously). Otherwise, you will feel like you are running yourself into the ground.

Long gone are the days when a women could stay at home, look after the children, and have a home cooked meal on the table every evening. Us women have got too much on our plates these days.

dianne

Your dh shouldn't be "helping out", he should simply be doing his share of the household chores. Not feeling up to doing all of it doesn't make you a bad wife or mother given that you work and also have a chronic illness. Tiredness is definitely a depression symptom, maybe you should speak to your doc about tweaking your dosage? Try to take good care of yourself, that will help too - get some exercise (a 15 minute walk will do), eat healthy food and make time to do something that you enjoy. It's hard, I know, especially when you're exhausted but it will make a positive difference.

I would imagine if you posted this on chat and removed any reference to mental health or even physical health lots of posters would say they struggled with housework and motivation. I think it's hard being a mum with a house and working.

If you're not doing so already, start involving your older dc in domestic chores. He/she can empty small bins, help to pack away groceries, put dirty clothes in the wash and make beds (not perfectly but that doesn't matter).

Having said all that, even though my depression is under control and I don't have any other conditions, I hate housework. My family often have to root through baskets of clean laundry to find underwear and socks. I could frankly care less!

I have severe depression and one of the ways it manifests is lack of motivation to do chores. It feels exhausting even to do any small thing. On some days when I do manage to put a laundry load on, the motivation disappears by the time the cycle is finished, then I end up leaving it in the machine overnight and need to run it again!

It's got so bad that I've had to get support from SS and they've sent volunteers to help out, but it always manages to slip again.

I think the effects of depression on motivation are underestimated, and of course housework is an undesirable job, but the scale is massively different from just not wanting to do it. It seems impossible at times to even just get out of bed, let alone do daily chores. I can't face cooking from scratch any more, as washing up would end up festering for days, and I often use disposable cutlery/plates to take the pressure off. And I don't even work, so it must be far more difficult with a p/t job.

I think you have to consider your condition to be as valid as any other, and make the adjustments/demand the support that would be offered for illnesses that are more 'socially acceptable'. My DLA helps pay for a cleaner and more expensive takeaway/pre-prepared foods, just like it would help out someone with cancer or an elderly person. I don't have a DH so it's even harder for me (and my dcs have SN so can't help with housework either) but in your case I'd be expecting your DH to pick up the slack, or agree to get help like a cleaner/short cuts to cooking.