Just need a pat on the back from people who understand panic attacks....please

[offtoseethewizard64]

I have never suffered from anything like this before but a few weeks ago, having been under tremendous stress for 6 months, I suffered from a panic attack whilst driving on a busy road.
Following on from that, I couldn't even look at the car on the drive without my chest going tight, let alone get in it and drive. I would wake up in the morning and could feel myself getting stressed about how I was going to get somewhere I needed to go. However, not driving is not an option for a multitude of reasons, so I saw GP who prescribed beta-blockers and recommended self-referral for CBT - which I also did. Was sent some self-help info as waiting list for CBT is 6 mths. I have forced myself to drive and gradually increased my journey length.

Fast forward 4 weeks and I feel I have made massive progress. I have gone from suffering symptoms when only driving 1 mile up the road to taking DD to a hospital appointment 20 miles away this week. Later today I have to drive 26 miles to take DD somewhere part of which involves a stretch of road which will be very busy on a Friday of a bank holiday weekend. I knowthink I can do it.

DH was very supportive to start with - driving me to places and telling me he will support me and 'we' will get through this. He now seems to have forgotten about what happened and even forgot that I was taking DD to the hospital the other day, let alone ask how it went. He could have come home early today to take DD but he hasn't offered. I just feel that I am on my own with this and no one is saying 'well done, you're doing really well'
I am still a long way off being able to drive and visit my Mum, which is my long term goal and I live in fear of the panic setting in again the further I venture from home. I just wanted to talk to people who understand what I have gone through - especially if you have come out the other side.

A massive well done to you. You've done incredible :) give yourself a big par on the back you deserve it

Well done. I sympathise with you and DH- my very lovely DH is the same. Unless it's being acted out of him then and there it's not happening!
You'll get through this because you're being so proactive.

Thank you both.
helpys Glad it's not just my DH. He seems to live in his own little self-centred world.
He will remember I've driven DD tonight though as his tea won't be on the table when he gets home!!!

Well done, you're doing brilliantly.

I used to suffer panic attacks. My life was on hold for about 6 months because of it - terrified of leaving the house, really. It was utter misery.

The turning point for me was getting pissed off with it. I had gone into town one day (a BIG achievement!) and I felt the panic coming on and I just remember clearly thinking fuck this, go ahead and happen, I don't care, I know it can't really hurt me. Like the panic was a separate entity really. I'm not saying I got better overnight (it took about 6 more months to stop totally), but it made a huge difference - I stopped running from it and let it happen.

Once I had done that, I was able to think about what was causing it. I was at a loose end in my life at the time and under a lot of stress, but I just wasn't able to make changes until I had the panic under control.

I will always be a slightly anxious person, but it's totally under control these days and I haven't had a panic attack for more than 10 years.

Good to hear that you got your panic under control bedtime. I've read all the literature that says 'panic can't hurt you', but when you are driving a car and can't get off the road, it feels very different to that.
I started planning routes so that I avoided certain roads that I knew I wouldn't be able to pull over on. I drove down quiet country lanes instead of dual carriageways but now I am slowly getting back onto the busier 2 lane roads again and have been able to pull into the outside lane to overtake - whereas before I went into panic if I had to pass a cyclist.

I am determined to get over this because I have to. And once I have tackled this, I am going to tackle my life long fear of heights using the same techniques. I have been able to completely avoid heights for years so it hasn't been an issue.

I leave on my journey with DD shortly - so deep breath and all that.

A pat on the back from me. I understand. I have been in your shoes. I was housebound for six months, unable to look after my children. I now run a business, drive on the motorway, travel by myself, do everything I used to do, and I love it. I look at life completely differently now.

I'm another who is completely better now, like bedtime, as it got to the point where I was thinking "fuck this, I want my life back."

Things that helped me:

• CBT - this will ask you "what's the worst that could happen when you have a panic attack? Has that worst thing actually ever happened?" etc.... At its worst, I was terrified that I would die if I even moved. When the therapist asked me "well, have you ever died when you've moved?!" it was a lightbulb moment for me. I know this is hard to apply when driving a car, but the worst care scenario hasn't actually happened, has it?

• Hypnotherapy. I am passionate about this. I've posted about it before. It literally gave me my life back, and gave me the tools to cope with heightened adrenalin etc - and five years on, I'm thriving.

• Positive affirmations, aka in our house as "fake it 'til you make it." What I did was say things out loud and repeat them many times - e.g. "I am feeling excited about enjoying driving the car to xyz today." You need to make it quite specific, and you need to repeat it A LOT. And do this for every situation that you're going to face. I was told by my therapist that it would take a month, but I felt so much better after a week, the difference was indescribable.

• an understanding of what panic attacks are. They are an inappropriate adrenalin surge. The methods above help you to train your brain not to go into "fight or flight (or freeze)" mode at inappropriate times.

Quite honestly, you are doing the best thing in just getting on with everything - because by carrying on as normal, you are telling your brain that everything is normal. It's that fake it 'til you make it thing again - keep telling your brain that you are OK and you will be OK. You really need to keep plugging away with this though. Even if your heart is racing and you feel sick, you need to keep going with the "I'm feeling excited about enjoying my shopping trip" or whatever else it is.

I'm sorry your DH isn't being more supportive. It is possible that he's read up on anxiety and is following the "don't indulge it" advice. Which is actually the right thing to do, but it is bloody hard when all you want is someone to reassure you that you're going to survive .....

Feel free to PM me if you need a hand to hold or details of hypnotherapy etc. You are doing brilliantly; keep going!

xx

Thank you MrsMcEnroe. I'm so pleased that you have recovered and that life is so much better for you now.
I have successfully completed my 52 mile round trip this evening - although I did take the beta blockers at the last minute as a safety net.

I've read lots of literature on panic attacks and understand all the freeze/fight/flight stuff, but as you say, when driving a car and asking yourself what is the worst thing that can happen - the answer to self is not always the positive one you want. Having said that, I have been talking to myself a lot whilst driving - trying distraction techniques ie talking about the things I can see whilst driving and also positive affirmations - telling myself how well I am doing.

I don't think DH has actually read up on anything. I think it is just a case of it not affecting him directly as most of the driving I do is in the daytime when he is at work, so he doesn't notice if I go out or not. In fact, it has become clear that he doesn't really know what I do or where I go at all whilst he is at work. As long as his tea is on the table when he gets home, I don't think he really cares.

I feel a long way off ever driving on motorways again, although thankfully that isn't something I have to do very often anyway. But to be able to drive the 1 1/2 hr drive to visit my Mum again would be good - I'm just not sure how to gain the confidence to do that again.

A 6 mth wait for CBT is no use to me. I may seek out a private therapist as we have a small health policy which may cover some of the cost. Would be interested to hear more about how hypnotherapy helped you as there is a hypnotherapist working locally at an alternative therapy centre, whereas all the therapists qualified to do CBT are at least a 20 mile drive away

I paid for my hypnotherapy privately. Please do PM me if you would like details. You need someone who can do a combination of NLP and hypnotherapy, to retrain your brain to look at things positively.

But the "I am feeling excited about enjoying xyz" mantra is the thing that really works. You have to do it CONSTANTLY to start with!! Don't say "you're doing really well, keep going" etc because your brain won't understand what you're talking about. You have to be very specific. So, in your case, "I'm feeling excited about driving on xxx road tomorrow to see my mum" or whatever it is, and keep saying it and saying it, you might feel a bit foolish but it will work! When you're actually doing the journey (and you can do this silently, you don't have to say it out loud) you can change it to "I'm feeling excited about enjoying this drive to see mum, I'm enjoying driving along this road, I'm enjoying looking at the daffodils as I drive along this road" or whatever....

What I learned from my hypno/NLP was that the subconscious mind can't process negatives. So if you're telling it that you don't want to feel anxious, it will interpret this as you wanting to feel anxious! Sounds daft, but it makes sense. That's why all the positive chanting works - you literally tell your subconscious how you want it to feel.

The worst thing you can do with anxiety / panic attacks is pander to them, change your routine so they don't happen etc, because then you are I inviting yourself and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy BUT I know how hard it is when you're in the throes of one ....

There's something called the Linden Method which you could google. I have his book and DVD somewhere I think; I'd be happy to send them to you if you like. It's the same kind of approach really: i.e. just crack on and ignore (yes, I know!) the panic attacks and you will be ok. I found it useful but I needed some real life support too, hence the hypnotherapy. I needed to be able to explain my exact fears to a real person, and to have them tailor a solution for me!

I would definitely go and chat with your local hypnotherapist, and this is the website of the lady who sorted me out! - clinical-hypno.co.uk/home/. You probably aren't in my area, but she may well be able to recommend someone who's closer to you.

xx

Well done on your drive!

Thank you for posting about it. I am having panic attacks triggered by any contact with xH, which is a problem because I have to see him EOW, and following from the situations which caused this, any profession situation where I am in a room with colleagues where there is any hostility or discord at all.

It is horrible, so I think you did great with your trip.

I know how you feel, and you're doing fantastic. Well done!

Oh my yes. I get panic attacks in crowded places. DH has regularly come to retrieve me from the supermarket because it gets too much although I am better these days! Moving out of London helped

It is a fantastic achievement to make it back into the car and drive, and do it again and again :)

Do you know what caused the panic attack and have you had that happen before if you don't mind me asking? CBT is very effective at identifying the behaviour and thought process that led to the panic and how to mitigate it - it tracks backwards if that makes sense and tries to address the root of the problem. A six month waiting list is