Support thread for parenting with a MH illness.

[TheCunkOfPhilomena]

Just read a thread on chat about explaining things to children and realised I am lying to my 3yo DS about my anxiety and emetophobia. I am taking prozac, diazepam and domperidone and currently awaiting an assessment for inpatient treatment.

I tend to tell DS that I have a headache when I'm not coping. As a LP I am incredibly grateful for my DM's support as she helps out a lot when I'm not coping. I really don't know what to say to him as he gets older that will be truthful but not worrying. Any ideas?

I guess in a way it is easier for me, i have physical health problems too, so explaining that mummy is sad because she is ill is no different to me to explaining why mummy needs crutches, or is in pain, or too tired to play. If that makes sense?

I have Bipolar 2 and have had horrific anxiety for the last year or so. I tell my DD I get a poorly head when I'm struggling. We just have a lot of girls night when I can't get out of bed. Lots of films and snacks.

DD sees me taking my pills and started wondering what they're for. I think she was 10 when we were reading in an encyclopedia about the way the brain works, and decided to tell her that the chemicals in my brain doesn't always work the way they should, which the meds helps with. I explained that when the chemicals in my brain is out of whack I get sad and irritable and angry. I didn't use the label depression as I didn't think she was ready to deal with the baggage that goes with it. I have to admit I was worried that she would start blaming her own bad behaviour on brain chemicals and want pills to fix it, but that never happened.

With a younger child I think it's ok to just say that mommy is sick but has doctors who are helping her to feel better.

I like that suggestion LastingLight, I think he'd understand that, especially because he's been seeing a consultant for his bowel condition from a very young age, thank you.

Beyond, can I ask if you have any help? It sounds like you have a lot to contend with.

MrsAlex How do your girls react when they see you anxious? I have tried to reassure DS that I'm okay but I always dash outside for fresh air when in the grips of a bad panic attack and I worry about what he must think.

DH works shifts so has a lot of days off (but then a lot of time in work when hes there), plus my parents and grandparents live close. Then a panic alarm too for if i pass out. I should have a p/t carer, but finding someone that will work odd hours around DHs shifts is proving almost impossible. I find feeling down is okay, I tell them I'm sad and they cuddle me.

Don't really know how to explain when i have what i can only really describe as a meltdown. But i guess thats due to my asd not being "official" so i feel a bit of a fraud to explain it as that without the diagnosis. Sadly, they've seen it enough times that they don't even pay any attention to it anymore :(

Hi Philomena I have kids ages 7, 6 and 3 and have not felt the need to explain anything to them as such. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but my general approach to difficult subjects is not only provide any explanations if asked, and then only offer a teeny tiny bit of information at a time. If they need to know more, they will ask more.

Having had a mother who was alcoholic and had/has MH issues I know that as a child you just accept your parents for who they are as you do not know any different. I assumed everyone's mother was just like mine.

An example of this- my arms are covered in scars from self harm (all very very old) Other kids notice them and ask questions (which is why I keep them covered up if possible!) but my own kids have NEVER ever asked anything about them at all!! They will, of course...one day.

Same here Kim, I worry about the genetic angle, my pretty much absent biological father has had anxiety and depression all of his adult life but not so bad that it interferes with his profession. I wonder if DS is predisposed to developing A MH condition later on and hope with all my heart he doesn't.

DS is very bright and is always listening so I don't talk about things in front of him. I did have to tell him a bit about my fear of vomiting though when he felt sick a few weeks ago. He was amazingly calm about the whole thing; I told him that I wasn't frightened of him, it was the sick and it was a silly thing to be scared of as it can't hurt you. He seemed to accept that (as I passed him a disposable bowl, called for back up and headed for the garden).