I have been taking anti depressants for 2 months following the birth of my 6 month old and after about 2 week of taking them I started to feel A lot lot better. Happier, more positive, enjoying my baby more it's been brilliant. After feeling so blue and anxious. However these last few days the low feeling has started creeping back, and today I feel terrible. The main thing is I feel NO energy and just can't pick up the motivation to do anything else outside of looking after my LO. I'm dropping out of meeting people as I have no energy and can't face it and that's making me feel worse.
It's such a shame as I was starting to feel much more motivated and focused and now it's gone again. In a way I feel worse. My brain is full of a million things I need to do but I don't know where to start, and I feel so chaotic and disorganised - both in my mind and in my immediate surroundings. Eg thank you letters that need to be written/ house needs cleaning/ christening needs organising/ work hours need negotiating/nursery needs decorating/ puree s for baby need to be made etc etc etc I feel so guilty. I know it's the same for ALL of us mums, but right now it seems so hard. And I feel like an unattractive lump that needs to loose weight and sort out my dreadful wardrobe.. I never have anything to wear these days! I'm SO unbelievably tired aswell and all I want to do is go to bed and sleep whenever I can. I really want to sort my life out and look forward to things again but right now it seems overwhelming.. I've bought a book on the subject so I can try to create some sort of achievable plan. And most of all I want to be a positive happy mum again for my son's sake. has anyone else had experience of this? I do have a circle of NCT friends who are ok but they definitely wouldn't identify with this - I know I sound like a misery guts, I can hear myself! Sorry for the massive moan it helps to write it down X