I can feel depression rearing it's ugly head again :(

[momofmonster]

Afternoon all, i'm just on here to have a moan about work mostly and get things off my chest!!

Just under 2 years ago i was diagnosed with graves disease/hyperthyroid and last year things got too much for me and i was signed off work for 7 weeks with depression. When i agreed to come back to work i spoke to my manager about reducing my hours so that i drop 1 hour a day and only work 4 days a week. I felt this would help me cope a little better at balancing my work/home life. As a single mom to a 5 yr old tornado i find keeping my home tidy hard when i was leaving at 7am and getting home at 7pm. I applied and everything was going ok then they said i couldn't go down to 4 days a week because there aren't enough staff to cover that one day - although if i wanted to buy extra holiday and take annual leave one day a week this would be ok

Now i have been carrying on but i'm still struggling! I don't want to go back to the drs and just be given tablets again and maybe signed off again as i feel like people would be judging me that i don't really need it - but almost everyday at work i find myself crying in the toilet!! I'm on the verge of just quitting but then i know that financially i would just end up struggling!! Plus i have been in this job for 9 years and when my brain is working i am pretty good at it!!

I honestly don't know what to do with myself right now - has any one else been the same?!

I also suffer from depression but have not had to cope with it as a single mum, that must be so difficult. I think you have to go back to your GP, regardless of what other people may0think. Your health s well being are central to your child's welfare. There is no shame in needing help and support. Can you get help and support from your parents?

Hi i do get support from my family - they are all fantastic. I just find it really hard to talk to them. Ever since i was young i have hated people being worried about me so tended to not tell people when something was wrong - it took me 2 weeks to tell my mom why i was signed off work last year just telling her i was fine and it was nothing much.
i absolutely dread coming into work somedays yet at the same time i cant imagine ever leaving.

I know i will get back to the gp eventually i just hope she doesnt sign me off again.

Thanks for listening to me moan on!!