My mum died 18 months ago, she was my last remaining close family member outside dh and the kids. I was very close to her and I know I'm still grieving her. I have siblings living 300 miles away, they aren't close to me and weren't too upset when mum died. They have given me zero support since she died, one of them even said "we went back to our own lives and forgot you". I've always been like an only child, I cared for mum for years alone and miss that.
My dh is great, we get on well but he is very black and white, hes not very caring and emotional things dont trouble him. WE have ds's and he's very involved with them and their hobbies, they all like the same sport and play it and see it together. I go sometimes but its so not my thing, although its on the telly all the time and they talk about it all the time.
I feel alone in my family. I just cook and clean. I imagine having a daughter would give me someone to talk to, although we are all close and I love my ds's.
I have no extended family now. I dont count siblings are family, they couldnt be more uninterested in me if they tried.I dont have any relatives in this country.
I just feel so lonely and isolated. I join in with things, work, see friends, try to keep busy but I have a loneliness in me that is ever present.
I dont know why I'm writing this, its helps to get it out, I had bereavement counselling but feel my problems arent just about the loss of my mum, although her death brought everything to a head.
Maybe itll change as the ds's grow up and dh isnt so involved with them. My mum used to be where I'd go when they were all doing their thing, she was like my purpose, sorting out everything for her, now shes gone and I've seen how unsupportive my siblings have been I just feel empty.