Recovering from prenatal depression

[soapybubbles123]

I've suffered with depression for 10 years but I have never been so ill as I was when I was pregnant. I hated pregnancy, I didn't want to or feel able to be a Mum and I couldn't see anything positive in my future. My parents, brother and DH were incredibly supportive and I had all the NHS and private support available but I still planned how to run away so that no one would find me.

DS is now 8 weeks old and I can truthfully say that I didn't think it was possible to love him so much. I didn't love him straight away, when I first looked at him I burst into tears that were anything but joyful. I stayed in my local maternity unit for a few nights and actually tried to leave him there but found that I couldn't.

I wanted to share this to try and help anyone else suffering see that there might be light at the end of the tunnel. During pregnancy I couldn't believe anyone who said that things might work out and that I would love my baby. I truly just wanted everything to be over.

Things still aren't perfect; I still have panic attacks, days when I feel I just can't cope and I'm still on maximum dose medication but I CAN do this. I CAN be a Mum and I will be the best one I can be, because that is truly what I want even though I felt like it was impossible.

Congrats! Well done, sounds like you have turned a massive corner. Here, have some flowers!

that's lovely

You sound to me so positive and sound like you are doing your very best...which as mums is all we can do. When you have a panic attack, try not to dwell on it, try and focus on what you managed to do and what a good mum you are being. I find having a distraction technique my coping mechanism when I feel my anxiety rising and feel myself going into complete panic...doesn't always work, but mostly it does. Good luck to you and well done.

well done you lovely xx

Thanks for posting this. I am suffering with prenatal anxiety and depression and am currently 33 wks. It manifests itself differently to yours but I feel terrible. I'm receiving extra support from mh teams and the hospital but my consultant is against meds. I wish I had pushed harder for them earlier as mu counsellor says I need them but with just 7 weeks to go im not sure it's worth it. I have an overwhelming fear that this has all had a hideous affect on the babys development and I am worried i will spend the next years watching him for signs of it.... how is your baby after being depressed? all I want for mine is to be happy and healthy. congratulations and I'm so pleased you are feeling better x