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Moving out from under the big black cloud

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IrianofWay · 29/04/2014 10:33

Hi all.

Hope you don't object to a mind dump/personal manifesto. I need to write it all down somewhere.

I came off citalopram back in February. I was fed up of the little irritating side-effects of taking it and wanted to see what I was actally like wthout the cit fog.

This is the best time of year for me to do this as I get SAD quite badly so winter withdrawal is bad. I've done it before so I know it would be hard but I am passed all the physical symptoms - head buzzes, contant dizziness etc. I am even recovering a little from the deathly fatigue that I always get. Mood was dipping though so i took a look at myself.

I was drinking too much - not excessive amounts but a little most nights. I know that it affects my mood. Have stopped now. That is the biggest thing I need to do

I have put on heaps of weight. I know GPs say that cit does not cause weight gain but I beg to differ. I was at my lightest when I went on it 7 years ago - I am now for the first time in my life on the verge of being medically overweight despite running and watching my diet. When I came off them a few years ago for 6 months I lost a stone without trying. So I am fairly confident the weight will come off ...slowly.. .but as my size is making me very unhappy I am determined to do something proactive about it.

I have a whole body full of aches and pains - damaged knee, sore left shoulder and pins and needles in my hand)I suspect it might be a frozen shoulder but not sure. Instead of just puttng up with these I am going to make the physio appointment the GP arranged for me to have for my knee and see the chiro about my shoulder.

I am going to start running again - injuries made me stop as did the general crappy feelings of withdrawal - so I am starting from scratch, slowly and gradually.

I am going to face my low mood, accept it for what it is and always be aware of how I am feeling. I am not going to refuse to take the meds again if I have to because I know they saved my life in the past. That is where I went wrong before - stopping and refusing to accept I might need them again.

thanks

PS. I used to be orm

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