Anxiety spiralling again

[fuzzpig]

Just ranting really. Don't know why it's got so much worse lately.

Crazy thing is I didn't even know it was anxiety until a couple of years ago. I have always been labelled as depressed, but I now understand I'm only really depressed because of the anxiety, if that makes sense.

I'm so sick of not being able to cope with normal things. It's really tiny things I worry about, mostly social (I have a lot of problems with social interactions, I thought maybe it was Aspergers but a psychiatrist suggested OCD - not had it confirmed either way yet as I have a physical illness which takes up all my time) like I will analyse conversations a million times, just keep going over and over to work out if I said the wrong thing or offended someone, I worry about making mistakes and that people hate me. Work is a real struggle even though I have friends there and I love the job and am good at it - if one single worry appears in my head then the entire shift (and the evening, and sometimes the next day right up until I get back to work) is ruined.

I'm sick of the fluttery tight feeling in my chest. Sometimes the worries fly through my head so fast that I don't even register them until a couple of thoughts later IYSWIM. So I'll get that feeling but not know why, and I'll have to think back to remember what is causing it :(

:( Are you having any meds or therapy?

I have/had anxious depression with obsessional elements (my description, not a diagnosis as such.... !) My 'official' diagnosis is just Major Depressive Disorder. Have you ever had CBT?

Hi fuzz sorry to hear you are struggling. I have been suffering from gad (general anxiety disorder) and depression for 16 months now and am finding group therapy really helpful. I have been on a couple of courses one on anxiety and one on low mood. Both have really helped. I can completely empathise with you. Are you on any meds? I'm on sertraline.

Hi yes I'm sort of on ADs, but it's a low dose prescribed as a painkiller. So I guess that doesn't really count!

I have had a lot of CBT, I was abused as a child so had lots in my teens but TBH I barely scratched the surface as it was more focusing on that crisis IYSWIM. Had more recently as part of my treatment for my physical illness and we did focus on anxiety. But even though I know all the techniques of CBT and can use mindfulness to get through it, it doesn't really work :( no matter what I tell myself, I still feel the need to assume the worst, as self preservation (ie if I expect the worst I will be a little more protected if the worst happens). Eg I need to assume that I'll get told off for a mistake at work, because if I don't, what if I go in all happy and then get told off? My world will crumble and I'll be devastated.

Amitryptiline (?) at the painkilling dose mightn't be doing anything for your wider symptoms. How would you feel about going onto a treatment dose of ADs? Might be something to discuss with your GP. It sounds like you've definitely been round the block with talking therapies and given it a good try. You might find - like I did - that knowing the theory of CBT is not ever so helpful and that medication makes the biggest difference. When I'm on the meds I can put the CBT into action no problem. When I'm not, it's so difficult even though I know the theory.

like I will analyse conversations a million times, just keep going over and over to work out if I said the wrong thing or offended someone, I worry about making mistakes and that people hate me

I do the same thing, you're not alone. :)

I have an anxiety disorder that flares up every now and again since I was a teen. It's in remittance atm, the meds that were most effective for me was Effexor and Klonopin paired up. They block the physical symptoms, which will help me sort my thoughts better.

CBT Is good... But like pp's said, it's really hard to remember grounding while you're in the middle of a panic attack. If you're having a hard time, meds paired with CBT is a pretty powerful combination.