How do I shake this?

[Doodlekitty]

Hi

Not sure where to start with this. I went to the doctor on Thursday, having waited 10 days for an appointment. Told him I was feeling low most of the time, have done ever since I had my baby (now 18 months) but people kept telling me it was normal to feel this way with a baby. Sobbed my heart out in his office as I explained how I just want to run away from it all, have panic attacks pretty much daily, wish I could just stop existing (although I explained I would never actually kill myself, I just want to stop being).

But, apparently, because I still have an appetite and I get some joy from my son and life in general at times, I'm fine and just need to pull myself together (not his exact words, but very much the sentiment)

He told me being a mother is very isolating (I'm not isolated, I have a really helpful family who I see daily, a lovely husband who tries very hard and some good friends and I go to loads of groups) and some mothers find it hard to cope but it gets easier. He wants me to go back in 3 weeks for another chat as he feels all I need is "a bit of support".

So, how do I pull myself out of this. If this is normal then lots of people must have managed to. I'm so fed up of trying to explain how I feel to people to have them tell me that I'm doing a great job and should be happy. I can't go on feeling like this with nobody understanding.

He has not been very helpful, has he? You poor thing. It sounds a bit like he doesn't get depression at all.

Is there another GP there you can see?

I thought of that, there is but so many people seem to think this is all in my head, so to speak, that surely they must be right. I have no reason to feel like this.

I tried joining a club, so I had a night of not being mam. DH and I joined the gym, thinking that this might help. Doc said that I was putting the correct steps in place and I just had to wait for it to work

You can ask the gp to assess you for mental health conditions. I think with a baby at your age they would call it depression not pnd, but either way if you are depressed then there are medical treatments available that a gp can help with.

If you are wanting help with being practical things and parenting then your HV can help, but sounds like you already doing lots proactively.

Did you stop work when you had your dc? I only ask as some people who love being a parent also struggle with the changes that not working gives them.