DBIL is bringing his elderly parents to their knees

[MrsCornish]

I'm looking for some advice - long story, i'll try to summarise.

DH's brother, in his 50s, has alcohol issues and mental health issues though he is not diagnosed, or under the care of any services. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with him. He lives with his parents who are in their 80s. He has done so for about 15 years, when he was put in prison for 18 months; when he came out he was incapable of looking after himself. The are all very hot tempered and argumentative, but recently it's reached a point of desperation whereby this morning DMIL rang at 9am (she NEVER EVER phones before 10pm usually, as she sleeps all day to avoid her son) to say her DH had crawled into her room saying he couldn't take the rowing any more, he was having a breakdown, then he crawled back to be and lay there groaning.

My DH has been on the phone to his mum a couple of times since then. I suggested she phoned the samaritans to ask for advice, but they told her to ring the GP. She won't as they don't want a confrontation with their son. They are scared of him and the effect a visit from any external source will have on the domestic situation.

She's asking for help, DFIL is clearly asking for help, and yet all my DH and his DSIS seem to do is say - you must phone the GP and ask for help, and that noone else can force them to bring outside help in as they have to face the consequences voluntarily.

I can't let this go on, but I don't know what to do either, I don't want to overrule my DH and his DSIS by phoning the local mental health services.

Any advice? Sorry for rambling.

I should also add that they know they are enabling him, but they won't kick him out and make him hit bottom. It would be very difficult to get him to leave anyway. They've tried various ways over the last 25 years, but he always comes back to them.

Hi even if you phoned the MH services they may not do an assessment and even I they do and he " passes", would that place the parents more at risk? My onky thought is could they seek help for themselves, asking for referral to the elderly MH team for assessment for themselves and support through social care maybe? That may then bring their home situation to light and give external support to them? Sadly unless they are active in seeking help themselves it sounds unlikely he will leave of his own accord.