I can't do it

[Katkins1]

That's it really.
Trying to finish my degree and I can't.
House is an absolute tip, can't even get through the laundry.
Spend all day working and get nowhere, nothing's finished.
So much to do and deadlines approaching.
I'm going to fail now, I know it.

So unhappy. Have put on so much weight, I never have before. I've been sober for 7 years, bought some wine today and had a glass as soon as I got back.

It took the edge off. Fighting the urge to self-harm, feel as though I'm not good enough. I'm so unhealthy, my skin is terrible, I'm exhausted.

I don't know what to do now.

Go to the doctor and get help. If you finish your degree this summer leave the house til it's over. Housework can wait. What about mitigating circumstances leading to an extension?

I have one extension, that's it. I think my only choice is to hand in below standard work and just get the mark I get for it now, which will be a fail.

Oh Katkins I'm so sorry. (((HUGS))) Judging by the remarks of your tutor that you've posted here you are a good student. So give it your best shot and if you fail, you fail. That might be the start of your life going in a whole different direction, you never know.

Thank you. I don't wait to fail though- I have come so far. I wonder if it's just me feeling stressed, or if others are the same and we just aren't talking to one another about it!

I haven't studied to your level, only busy with Honours now, but I can tell you that at the end of last year I was convinced that I had failed both my modules. I had found the work so hard, and the sheer volume of it so overwhelming that I just couldn't cope. It turned out I got 62% and 63%. Often things are not as bad as it feels.

I'm doing a BA. Those are good marks, a 2.1. Excellent . :)

Oh sorry, I thought you were on PhD for some reason. They're not good compared to what I achieved in undergraduate... they're just a lot better than I expected!

Oh I have a PhD place, but I'm planning to take a year out! Are you doing an MA? I've done very little today apart from housework (ongoing) and can actually feel my stress levels dropping to a more reasonable level.

I'm studying psychology and how that works at my university here in South Africa is that you have to a BA (which is 3 years fulltime but took me 9 years parttime), followed by an Honours (1 year fulltime, will probably take me 4 years) and then Masters (which I'm still unsure about).

when studying I remember feeling stressed to take time off from studying
when in fact your brain needs it!

Ah I see, that would be MA here, I'm f/t which is hard-going. I'm only looking for part time work after. Yes, anti you are right. I have done nothing but sort my flat out today, and am jumping in to the shower in a minute. I feel a bit better having managed to vacuum and tidy round. It wasn't a good clean, but I've managed to get some stuff clean.