Please - has anyone managed to stop nightmares?

[icepole]

I still get nightmares from an abusive relationship I experienced 14 years ago. I feel so exhausted from waking up and being flooded with anxiety or depression or just carrying that horrible feeling from him around all day. I have had therapy for it, I've talked about it, written about it etc etc. I just don't understand why I am still having these dreams and I feel powerless to stop them. Would appreciate any suggestions.

Sort of but it's not a very sensible (or healthy) way I think so I'm not going to tell you! Is it always the same dream or is it just that he appears in them? Could you try and doze off again, think about the dream and "re-dream" the ending into something positive?

Not all the same no, he's just in them mostly. Sometimes it's like I am back then, sometime it's as though it's now and I have somehow encountered him. I feel so unwell when I wake up I can't get back to sleep after them.

That sounds terrible OP. This is just an off the wall idea, sorry if it sounds silly... have you read or seen Harry Potter? Remember that scene where they are taught to confront their worst fears? Can you imagine this person and then change him into something funny or ridiculous? Or imagine that there is a forcefield protecting you and he cannot touch you, you also cannot hear him.

Spend some time purposefully doing this in your mind before you go to sleep.

Anything is worth a go, it's wretched and I am so fed up of it.

Sorry you're getting this OP. I have horrible nightmares about my ExP too.

I've found that writing my diary right before bed helps (I've never kept one before) as I can get any stress/tension from the day out of my system before I lie down to sleep. I always find my nightmares are worse if I've had a bad day so those days usually get a mammoth diary entry.

I also second what LastingLight said about the HP boggart thing. I talk in my sleep so DH knows when I'm having nightmares and tries to talk them into something safer. For example, I had one a few nights ago about my exP holding a pillow over my face and DH told me the pillow had turned into a cloud and floated away with exP on it. If you can try to visualize something similar with recurring dreams it might help your subconscious fight it off in you sleep...

Mine haven't gone away, but I get them an awful lot less than I used to.