I am so horrible to my family - is this part of depression

[Jemster]

I am currently on 20mg of fluoxetine as I wasn't coping well with life at the end of last year.
I am so irritable all the time, I wonder if the drugs are doing anything at all. I moan at my husband constantly and nag my poor dc. I hate being like this. I must be awful to be around although I have made some friends recently who I enjoy spending time with and we laugh together.
It's as if my family just irritate me all the time and some days I feel like getting away form the monotony of it all.
Is anyone else like this and any advice to change? I just want to be happy but just don't seem to be able to.

I've been there with being horrible to family, poor DD really suffered. It could be that your dose should be upped as you're on the lowest dosage. Talk therapy will also help.

I have felt the same at times, especially towards DD and Ex partner. Be kind to yourself, and talk it out. It may not feel it, but your family are there to support you- they love you. It is hard I know.

I can tell you OP that my depressed ex changed completely from a very loving and kind person into a very nasty human being. He was horrible to to me and our kids. So yes, it can change you and it often causes you to take it out on those closest to you unfortunately. It is very normal to find everyone irritating - especially your partner and kids - when you are yourself suffering and feeling negative and exhausted. I would not beat yourself up about it - you cannot help feeling this way or being ill -but perhaps you can do as much as you can to let them know it is your illness and you still love them. It can be very painful and confusing to experience this type of behaviour but it's not your fault.

I don't know if it's the same, but I find it really hard being at home at the moment. I'm struggling with depression/anxiety too, and I find myself worse around my DD. I'm fine with my DH, but I think because she doesn't understand, and obvioulsy isn't compassionate to how I'm feeling, I just feel like I want to avoid her. I feel like my loving/maternal feelings have been switched off, and I'm faking everything which is exhausting. I think it's a symptom of depression, so I'm hoping all the old feelings will come back when I start feeling a bit better. x

Minion that sounds hard and familiar to me. I know I'm doing it but I can't seem to help myself. How can I change this? I'm going to start counselling tonight, could that help? I don't want my children to remember me as a moody snappy mum and dh has the patience of a saint with my moods!

Jemster, from the perspective f someone on the receiving end, I would have appreciated a few things to have helped me through it.

The first would have been the occasional kind word, or even a note to tell me that I was loved and that it wasn't my fault. I felt like it was. I felt like he hated me!

The second would be to have educated myself on depression to understand why my husband was behaving in that way. For me, what saved me was a book called "Depression Fallout". I keep mentioning this book but it is specifically on this subject. I found "Undoing Depression" great too as well as online forums and support groups.

For you OP - I think you can't "stop doing it". You're ill. The parts of you which make you feel all warm, calm, loving and wonderful are a bit shut off right now. Please don't be hard on yourself because it's rather lovely that you are posting here and wanting to make an effort.

I found this letter online and thought it was rather lovely too. Does this describe how you feel sometimes?

psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/12/17/letter-to-a-loved-one-when-depressed/