I have had to change my name for this one, just because its easier to get this out anonomously. Since having baby at the beginning of this year, I have struggled, up until now I have managed to cope - or hide it. Over the past two weeks things have got so bad, I have found that I have no feelings - love or hate - towards my husband and I have asked him not to touch me or kiss me as I can't stand it. I have very little patience with my other child, shouting at him for things he would have got away with before, I also feel guilty about everything, my older child starts school in two weeks and he's dreading it, I'm always really positive about it but its getting me down because I had a bad time at school, he doesn't know anything about it, he just likes his playschool/nursery routine. Anyhow I'm now at the point where getting up and out is a struggle and weekends I just don't want to leave the house, I'm so down that I don't feel like talking to people. My job (full-time) is also stressful. I arranged to work half days whilst he settles in to school, I have just found out that his second day I have been booked in to go to an all day thing in London. I feel distraught, I have no control over anything, its like everything I have to deal with is on a carousel which I can't stop and everything is just spinning on around me. I have made an appointment to see my GP today because I want to feel better before school starts and also with my DH. Thing is I have found now I don't know what to say to her, how do I explain without it sounding rehearsed because I have wrote it all down but it doesn't look right, I'm so lost and sad. I feel guilty for feeling like this, I have only really confided in DH and BF, she just says I should be glad for what I have and reminds me 'no-one is dying'. We have good jobs, good lives and 2 healty beautiful children, I can't explain why I feel like I do.