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Sister Took An Overdose

2 replies

ConcernedBrother · 10/04/2014 20:49

I've joined this site specifically to ask for help and / or advice - not sure if that's relevant but thought I'd mention it.

Basically last weekend my sister (43 years old, single mum to 14 year old girl) took an overdose. Thankfully she's ok and I think it was more a cry for help than a 'serious' suicide bid (although in my book chucking loads of random pills and copious amounts of whisky down your neck is pretty serious) but some issues have cropped up, we want to help her but have no idea what to do.

Brief background - she was with the father of her daughter since her late teens and lived together for probably 15 years during which he was, and still is, a heavy drinker, poor father and as we found out recently, violent towards her. Since they split he has always been in her life - asking advice, coming round for meals including Christmas lunch, texting and phoning constantly, etc. For years she said she allowed this because she wanted her daughter to know her father but to be honest he never really bothered with the daughter, never paid towards her upkeep and bought minimal present at Christmas and birthdays. I actually think (and she's this week confirmed) that she's scared of him, and I think she's afraid to tell him where to go. She has never moved her life on by meeting another man because the ex threatens violence towards any prospective partner - he doesn't threaten the men he threatens my sister. On works nights out he has been known to follow her from bar to bar.

Anyway since she came out of hospital on Sunday she's been staying at Mums with her daughter but has been managing to work and to see her posts on Facebook you wouldn't think anything was wrong. My Mum has been trying to get my sister to talk about why she took the overdose but sis won't discuss it. However we've learned some stuff:

-The reason isn't just because of the ex
-Sis had a nervous breakdown last November and took 3 months off work and never told anyone
-she's been having counselling for a number of months which no one knew about.

My reason for posting is that my Mum is at the end of her tether with worry - how the heck do we persuade my sister to tell us what's wrong so we can help her? (bear in mind its not just the ex) We'd all do anything to help. Frankly I wish she'd been sectioned so she would get some urgent help and to make things easier for Mum, but we had no idea anything was wrong until the weekend. Any advice gratefully received, thanks.

OP posts:
dontrunwithscissors · 10/04/2014 23:44

I'm really sorry to hear about this. I'm afraid to say that if your sister doesn't want to talk about it, it's very hard to change that. I think the worst thing to do is to put pressure on her to talk. I'd suggest letting her know that you love her, you're there for her, and ask her what you can do that will help her. It can be so hard to speak about your feelings when you're depressed. It's hard enough to try to express how awful you feel, and then all the thoughts that come with the depression (of worthlessness, that you're a burden to people, that you don't deserve help) make it ten times harder. I personally find it hardest of all to talk to the people I love because they're just too close and embroiled with my feelings.

LastingLight · 11/04/2014 07:45

You cannot force her to tell you what is wrong. All you can do is be there for her, tell her that you will support her whatever the problem is and try to do some normal things with her - shopping, movies etc. Also encourage her to keep going to her counselling sessions. Is she on any medication?

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