Does anyone else have telephobia?

[nappyaddict]

Mine is really getting me down. I can't function properly and I feel like a freak. My best friend is like this (I do feel like fate made us find each other as we have such similar difficulties) but I don't know of anyone else like it. I just want to be normal and do things that normal people don't think twice about. DP puts it down to the fact that I don't make phone calls very often and if I started doing it then the fear will go away. He's probably right, but it's just not that easy and he thinks it is.

Nappy I was exactly the same as you. I couldn't even ring a takeaway. I'd sweat and panic. It'd be awful. I HATED it. I wouldn't even answer my phone half the time.

But, I ended up in an office job and I absolutely had to use the phone. It helped, I got used to it bit by bit and now I'm quite okay with it, although I still do prefer to text or email!

Is there any other areas you're anxious in? Do you have general anxiety? I hope it gets better for you soon

Ironically I am actually looking for an office job. I can use the phone at work (I work in a restaurant at the moment) because I generally know what questions I will be asked when I answer it and I know the answers that go with those questions. Does that make sense?

I can also use the phone to make a hair appointment or doctors appointment and to phone the school if my son's ill because it's quick and simple. I'm also not too bad with ringing school to ask questions but I can't explain why. Maybe because they are short, simple questions like - what time does the Easter assembly finish?

My problems are with ringing family and friends (apart from my Mum, DP and sister)

And ringing anyone else where I will have to have a conversation, explain things or ask lots of questions. Also ringing places where I will be put on hold for a long time because the anticipation is often worse than the actual phone call. I need to ring DLA to get a copy of my son's old form so I can reapply but I have put it off for A YEAR! I have missed out on child benefit for TWO YEARS because it got messed up when it was supposed to be switched over from my mum's name (she looked after DS whilst I went to uni for 3 days a week and stayed over) to my name.

Oh and I am OK with ringing for a takeaway as long as I know how to pronounce what I am ordering. If not I make DP do it.

I decided to bite the bullet and ring the DLA people. My heart was pounding, I couldn't get my words out properly and I was on the verge of tears. I must have sounded like a right loon. After all that I didn't pass the security check because that's not been changed over properly either.

Is this really a recognised condition? That makes me feel such relief; I hate making and answering phonecalls too, in more or less exactly the way you describe -short ones with a clear purpose are ok, trying to make social arrangements on the phone is awful, I often just duck out or do it by ridiculously convoluted text message, or email, but i'm a bit funny about that too.

Yes :)

I keep thinking about going to the GP to see if they can refer me for any therapy but I just feel so ridiculous and I wouldn't know what to say.

Why not say I struggle using the phone unless its at work or to make appointments or for school? If you are factual and say you want therapy to help you with a specific issue ( needing to phone people outside of close family and what listed above) then they will know what to refer you to. They often give 6 or so sessions of group therapy and some areas have relaxation groups, stress reducing groups, all sorts. Some offer individual treatment but waits can be longer.

Ahh, I have this to a degree, I just didn't know there was a name for it! I hate making phone calls, avoid at all costs and get very anxious if I have to make them (phoning nursery/GPs, etc)

I have this too, but have to use the phone at work

Yes I hate phone calls too OP and I'm similar to you - I can do short, simple calls especially if I don't know the person and it's straightforward and businesslike. But I dread getting stuck in a long phone call or "chatting" on the phone. Sometimes MIL wants to chat to me when she phones DP and I literally get a cold sweat. I can handle work phone calls as long as they don't descend into chat - then I panic and gabble horribly.

Even chatting to DP on the phone is hard - but I love chatting to him in RL. It's something about the way I feel trapped and have to have something to say.

I have got much worse over time. I used to have long phone calls with my mum and sisters - which I always hated and dreaded (I don't really like them and the calls were all about them), but managed. I phased them out when I had DC with the excuse of not having time (which is true really). I couldn't do it at all now.

Email means I can avoid phone calls in the main, and I do. I think if I'm honest, I don't want help, I want to continue to avoid it. But I have heard that CBT can help, so you could look into that?

SilverStars Have you struggled with this too or know someone that has?

I too hate chatting on the phone apart from with the 3 people listed above. I hate the awkward silence when I can't think of anything to say, not being able to see somebody's expression or body language so finding it takes a bit longer to process what they are saying and the expectation to answer immediately. I do ring DP every night when he works away and look forward to that, but as we live together we rarely phone each other unless it's for a specific purpose - ie can you pick something up on the way home, where did you leave the keys etc.

I have this problem and I don't think it's all that uncommon. I am on the autism spectrum (diagnosed) and on forums there it comes up quite regularly. I hardly ever answer calls from unknown/private numbers and I will often let an issue drop rather than making a phone call about it (it means I sometimes lose money/opportunities, but I figure that's part of what DLA is for). But these days it's easier to use email, or even old-fashioned letters to deal with an issue. I don't even like the short, functional phone calls to sort out appointments etc.

For things where calling is unavoidable, it will often take me a week or more to build up the mental strength to face making a call - I can't simply pick up the phone and get on with it. And I do feel a huge amount of anxiety and sense of exhaustion once it's done.

I very rarely call my DH, even if he's working away. Never have phone calls for purely social reasons at all, it's always to make arrangements for something or confirm details. But that sort of thing can be done in email, so no need for a call unless it's quite urgent.

Hi I do not have a defined condition, just do not like using the phone as get anxious. I just know that if you can tell a gp what you can and can't do it can really help them know what advise or referrals etc to make.

I get the exhaustion thing too. In fact I feel exhausted most days. I often wonder if its because my brain is on overdrive trying to cope with a lot of social situations and cover up the fact by appearing social, outgoing and confident.