3 months in... still sruggling

[inthewoods4]

Hi everyone, I'm just looking for some reassurance I think... I started feeling anxious and depressed just after Xmas, and I started taking citalopram 20mg. Since then I've been so up and down, I can function and I'm working, but today I've woken up feeling tearful, anxious, panicky, dizzy etc. (I'm on my period too) I'm so terrified I'm going to slip right back to the start. Has anyone else found this? Will I ever get better? XX

Can anyone help? x

Sorry you're feeling like this. Have you discussed it with your gp? Maybe he could increase the dose or also refer you for counselling?

It's very common in depression and anxiety to experience "ups and downs" or good days and bad days. The thing is it's often difficult to tell which is which with depression and anxiety. Feeling tearful sounds like depression but it's almost certainly the anxiety that is causing you to feel panicky and dizzy. Anxiety means fear, so panic means fear +++ if that makes sense.

Try doing some deep breathing - in through your nose and hold for a few secs then a long breath out (imagine you are blowing a feather across a table) that can help with the anxiety.

The other thing that strikes me (and I'm no medic but another sufferer of depression and anxiety) is you are on a low dose of citalopram and maybe the dose needs to be raised. Do you know the underlying cause of your depression, because the meds treat the symptoms and you may need therapy of some kind to deal with the underlying cause.

Also the fear of "never getting better" is also one of the symptoms of depression - it really does "mess with our heads" in this way. The stats are that 4 out of 5 people will make a complete recovery in 4 - 6 months. You will though experience these "ups and downs" and it doesn't mean that you won't get better.

hand holding. I was suffering minor anxiety last year, haven't needed medication. I was told the road to recovery wouldn't be a straight path but filled with ups and downs. And I have defiantly found this to be true.

Sounds like your generally doing ok, have you had any talking therapy as well as medication, mite be worth exploring if not.

Thank you everyone, I am having CBT but when I'm in one of these periods I find it hard to use it properly. I think I do need to up the dose, I had PND three years ago and was on 40 by the end, and that seemed to do the trick so I think I'll try it. What I am finding hard is the 'spaced out' feeling I'm having - I'm at work and I'm finding it very hard to concentrate. I feel like I'm detatched from everyone else. It's reassuring what you say about 6 months, I think I expected to be better by now, but I realise it's going to take longer... xxx

That sounds nasty while you are trying to work inthewoods and presumably you have a 3 year old and maybe more children, which means that you have a lot on, whilst dealing with depression and anxiety. Do you work full time - hope not! Why don't you take a few days off and see your GP about increasing the dose, but the path to recovery has lumps and bumps along the way. Did you make a good recovery last time?

Hi NanaNina, I do work full time, and I commute for an hour and a half every day! I only have one DC luckily, and she's very good but it is hard.
I have just phoned my GP who has increased my dose to 40mg - but obvioulsy now I'm worried about side-effects etc. I made a very good recovery last time, and was well for over 3 years so hopefully that will happen again xxx

Oh that commute sounds horrendous - do you drive or go by public transport. I'm just thinking that if you drive and your concentration isn't so good, it could be a bit unsafe. Do you think you could take some time off especially whilst your body adjusts to the higher dose of meds. Don't forget that the side effects almost always settle within 2 or 3 weeks.

Can I just sound a word of caution here. I'm not sure how long you were on the meds the last time, but don't be in too much of a hurry to come off them this time. I made this mistake and regret it now.

I really think you need to take some time off sick - if you keep pushing yourself while you are getting anxiety symptoms and feeling tearful, you could end up sort of "crashing" at work and maybe delaying your recovery. I don't know what your job is but no one is indispensable.

I know it's hard (sometimes impossible) to be positive when this horrible illness attacks us, but there is every reason to hope that you will get better, but it may take months rather than weeks, and of course you will get the "ups and downs" - don't know if you use the MH thread often but if you do, you will see that recovery is often 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.

Be kind to yourself, try to get enough rest and above all think about having some time off work.

Thank you for your kind post,
I get the train for work, so that's ok, but it involves the tube too and sometimes I find the journey the worst part of the day as I have too much time to think.
When this all started 3 months ago I took a week off, and I've had a few days off since, including today. I've upped my dose to 30mg today as I thought 40 was a bit high. I've actually been doing really well until this week so it's a bit of a shock to have had this blip. Thanks for listening xxx

I recently upped from 20mg to 40mg about 3 mths in from starting cit. My pysch recommended one week at 30mg then up to 40mg but I did two weeks at 30mg before increasing to 40mg & they were not good, one week I was on my period so I guess that didn't help. I am still assuming I am in adjustment period as some days are rough, others ok. Getting a decent amount of sleep seems to improve things (so why am I still up past midnight??). I would give it a bit longer if you can manage & see how you are doing. That's my plan. Sorry I've nothing further to add, just going through similar.

Hand holding I've been medication for anxiety (not depression) for 8 months now and every time I'm on my period or just finished a period I'm anxious. I just have to accept the fact I will feel shitting for four days out the month but for the rest of the month I seem ok x