A broken limb, an illness...anything at all.

[MoveYourArmsLikeHenry]

I honestly think I have lost touch will reality. I'm so sick of feeling anxiety, panic, fear, inferiority, worthlessness, everything negative basically.

I actually really wish that I had some sort of physical reason that I don't have to leave my house (mainly to go to work) because I'm so miserable :( this is how bad it is, I will think every morning "a wee car crash would get me out of going to work. Not a major one that involves anyone else but enough that I don't have to face that place for another day". Or "I wish I had something contagious so I don't have to go to work for a week or two. Maybe if I broke my foot/arm/leg/whatever, that would be great"

It's insane to want to be sick or injured. I'm an idiot aren't I :(

Nah thats pretty common. I'm sure most going through anxiety and depression fantasize about 'real' things happening to them to validate why they feel so shite. We get so sick of existing inside our heads.
The funny thing is that we are quite picky about what we would wish for - something dramatic yes, but not anything bad happening to our loved ones or anything that we cant recover from!

I've been there. Are you getting treatment for your depression and anxiety?

Yup, I've felt the same, usually in the run up to another major depressive episode. Just anything to make life stop for a bit and take away my responsibilities.

Look after yourself, be selfish, get help so much easier to tell you to than do it myself

Do you have enough practicle help with your responsibilites?