I keep dreaming about the man who sexually abused me when I was a child

[itsJustANameChange]

It's horrid. Every night this week. Dreams about him, the things he did and dreams where people are forcing me to tell everyone. I want it to go away, it's been triggered I think by seeing a photo of him and then people reminiscing about him.

I've never told anyone the closest ive come to telling people was posting about it on here under a different name change. I just want it to go away all the fear and guilt and disgust has just come flooding back

Do you think you might feel comfortable in talking to someone about it?

From your short post.. It might be that you could be helped with some counseling? Could you ask your GP for a referral?
I have had some EMDR for past trauma and that really helped with the bad dreams (no more, hardly ever).

Could you talk to a friend, partner, family member?

I understand you feel guilty and all.. but it is not your fault. You did not do anything bad. I am sorry you had to go through it but it is not something you did, it was done to you.
You do not have to tell everyone and you were not a bad child.

Wish I could help a bit more..

I agree with MBS about EMDR for past trauma especially childhood sexual abuse. A close friend has experienced this kind of trauma and had some therapy which was useful, but when she tried this EMDR she really found some peace of mind for the first time in many years. Also I think sometimes people in this position get mis-diagnosed with depression or anxiety and whilst this might be the case, the main cause seems to be Post Traumatic Street Disorder.

Can you ask your GP if this therapy is available on the NHS although if you have never spoken to anyone about it, that might be a "bridge too far" at this stage. Are you someone who writes things down - I am and I encouraged my friend to do this, and she found that just emptying all the thoughts on to paper helped a bit. You could try writing him a letter and not sending it. Sorry if this sounds daft but sometimes it helps a bit.

I think the worst thing is that it leaves victims of this dreadful abuse feeling guilty and disgusting, whereas this is NOT the case, but I know this is how you feel. So bloody unfair when it's the perpetrator of the abuse that is disgusting. I wonder if all this sexual abuse that seems to be "crawling out of the woodwork" at the moment is also a trigger.