Externally she gives no impression of being stressed in any way - calm, personable. She has a support network here, whereas I don't (my fault, working on it). Theoretically the man has a 50/50 chance custody-wise, but realistically the wife wins, virtually every time. I am not in the UK, another western country.
Lasting light, when I said I'm the nice guy in this, I meant it - I do most of the household chores, I look after the kids while she goes out, and bathe and put them to bed every night. I do the majority of the cooking (breakfast every day, most dinners). There was a short period where I would come home late from work a few nights a week, but I made sure I was home on time to enable her to go out on the other days. I gave up my pasttimes for various reasons, but mainly because I felt guilty spending time away from family. Stupidly however I get grumpy when I don't have my own space, and I took it out on my wife, leaving her uncertain of what mood I was in.
Add that to my job issues...
Finally we had an argument some weeks ago that became physical - blocking and shoving, and she finally hit me and pushed a piece of furniture over (floor lamp). She has said that this point however that she lost all respect for me (despite her doing it to me with our child in her arms in the past), and suggested we get counseling. This involved me going to counseling, while I got the blame for everything. We have argued incessantly ever since, and she has distanced herself from the house and me, and started cosying up with her affair partner who is 'there for her'.
We had a 'talk' yesterday, which involved me talking to her, and her saying virtually nothing to me. I'm trying to empathise with her in an attempt to walk in her shoes, see how she was feeling, but she is unresponsive to that. Like I said, at this time I cannot reach out to her.