Really crass question - what is

[DownandDumpy]

OK, stupid question, but I don't know whether I feel "depressed" or just low and I should just buck myself up...
I just feel really numb, and low, as if I've been hollowed out. Life just passes me by, and although I occasionally rouse myself to plan to do things, nothing really gets done.
I started a new business over a year ago, and have been working from home 3 days a week, with DS at home the other 2 days. The business hasn't taken off (running training courses), partly, I think, because I haven't followed things up or built on what I've done, just subsided back and let things drift.
So I feel crap because I've wasted quite a bit of money so far in "playing about" with this business - I drop my DH and DS off at work/nursery, come home and just fart about on the PC, surfing endlessly, until it's time to pick them up again. I just can't seem to get my head clear to do "work" stuff, I just feel vague and can't concentrate on anything. We've got pretty huge debts too, partly through business expenses but mostly through living beyond our means , which I think is us trying to pretend that everything in life is rosy and great, and hiding in the planning and taking of holidays.
DH was severely depressed a few years ago, and although I don't know what he actually felt, he seemed much worse than I feel - crying etc. So am I just being crap and lazy, and therefore unsurprisingly low because of the business situation, or is it something I should see my GP about? I can't mention it to dh because he's low at the mo too, and I (stupidly) want to be the one coping...
So, I suppose what I'm hoping is that someone out there is psychic, and can "diagnose" what I've "got" better than I can...
Hmmmmm. Any thoughts?

if you won the lottery tomorrow, would this darkness lift?

That's exactly how I felt for several years - my GP said it was PND (although dd was 3 by then time I asked him !) and gave me ads which I didn't take for long.

I went back to work fulltime and felt a lot better - sometimes I just felt like my entire life revolved around my house and dd although like you I was working from home.

I think it takes different people in different ways to be honest - no-one would believe me that I had PND as I put on a joll and brave face and was only really sad when alone at home.

See your GP !

Somewhere on Mumsnet there is a self diagnosis questionnaire too - that might help you.

Hmm, lottery win - yes, but not sure if deep down or just on the surface.

Being at home is maybe the problem, but that means dumping the business. I've actually got an interview for a job, less well paid than the one I left, but it would give me the chance to be with people, and to at least do some training. I was/am hoping to carry on running the business in my "spare" time - the way I feel at the mo, doing anything in the evenings is impossible, but maybe if I get buoyed up again by working, more things would seem possible...

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