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Mental health

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Original poster

Should I expect help from dh?

11 replies

Somanybabyseagulls · 13/08/2006 19:24

Since getting together with my now dh there have been so many life stresses too numerous to go into which have caused my acute anxiety and depression. Dh says that he is no good for me health wise and it is unfortunately true, if I was not with him the incidents would never have happened to me. Today I have had a particularly bad day after words with dh, I am on the edge of tears, my mood is dark and my thoughts are black. Couldn't tell dh this as i would have disolved in tears but text him (not spoken since words this am) how seriously low I am. He has ignored me, all I wanted was for him to put his arms around me and tell me everything would be ok. Starting to feel that he got me into this, so he should help me, or am I being unreasonable? Sorry it's long and ranty, just needed to get it off my chest. TIA.

OP posts:

Alibaldi · 13/08/2006 19:28

Couldn't let this go without saying . Somanybabyseagulls you should like your really need some professional help. I'm seeing a counsellor at the moment and she's helping me work through all my issues I have (mainly with my H). He never comforts me either and that's the worst thing ever. I don't think you're being unreasonable. But I don't think you need help. Sending you loads of

tillykins · 13/08/2006 19:32

it sounds like he doesn't know what to do to make you feel better generally when you have a dark spell. Plus, because of how you feel about him, a disagreement with him makes you feel so much worse than it would, if you had it with anyone else

You need to discuss these things through with your GP and ask for some counselling - its not fair on you to feel like this, and its not fair on your DP to bear the brunt of the responsibility for how you feel. He probably wants to help you but feels that he will make you worse, whatever he does

I hope you find some help, its a terribly sad and destructive thing to suffer

Original poster

Somanybabyseagulls · 13/08/2006 19:35

Thanks for the reply. I've stopped seeing my counsellor as I think I'm wasting her time, just getting overloaded with problems and can't deal with any of them. Stopped taking the ads as have had seriously bad thoughts about taking them and I don't trust myself. Finding it tough 'going it alone' though.

OP posts:

Alibaldi · 13/08/2006 19:38

You're not wasting her time, they're there to listen to you not matter how stupid you feel. I go over the same thing time and time again sometimes, because you just have too. Please please go back and see her.

tillykins · 13/08/2006 19:38

but if you have stopped seeing a counsellor and you have stopped the medication, its not surprising you feel so bad - no wonder your DH can't help you
Please - go back to your GP, you know this is the best thing to do

Alibaldi · 13/08/2006 19:39

Just take one issue at a time, she should be doing that with you and helping you work your way through them.

nicnack2 · 13/08/2006 19:39

please go back to your consellor or gp/nurse asap. if you are feeling 'bad thought about taking them' i think you need advice now.

Original poster

Somanybabyseagulls · 13/08/2006 19:45

Thing is nicknack, have had two occasions where I have taken too many, not over the top amount, but twice what I am supposed to be taking, I seriously can't trust myself with them.

As for the counsellor we start dealing with one problem then something else even more major happens, ie, dealing with how badly xh treats children then my sister phones to say her oh has left her, remortgaged house and she is left with £9000 arrears and is being evicted beginning of Sept! This is on top of numerous problems since dh and I got together. I know it sounds like a joke, but this is really happening in my life, I'm on overload and just shutting down, can't deal with anything more. All I wanted was for dh to support me.

OP posts:

Alibaldi · 13/08/2006 19:48

You really really need to go to your GP tomorrow as a matter of urgency. Plus you have to focus on you for the moment.

nicnack2 · 13/08/2006 19:57

agree with alibaldi focus on you. Your sisters problems are hers, you can only be supportive and help where you can but not take them on board as yours. Your dh may not understand what it is like to suffer depression and is scared of it and your need for constant reassurance. AD help to alleviate the dark feelings which allow you to look at the issues in a clear why. it will continue to spiral.
try even going away for the weekend to a spa on your own. take care

Dior · 13/08/2006 19:58

Message withdrawn

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