I struggle with depression and anxiety - I'm all over the shop to be honest. Don't know how I'm managing to keep a lid on it. Anyway I'm on session 5 out of 6 CBT sessions. I've got the gist of it and it does seem to work. Though I've realised that however I re-frame things I'm basically having an existential crisis of sorts. I don't believe I'm going anywhere after I die, and now I'm a mummy to two beautiful girls I feel this black hole of hopelessness and overwhelming guilt that I've brought two babies into the world and I can't tell them that they're part of a special grand plan and that everything will be alright in the end. I actually can't bear to look them in the eye sometimes. They are my life's work but it/they'll come to nothing. Insignificant.
I ruminate like crazy (I'm basically crippled by guilt) and though I try and do the CBT steps and I don't have the energy as... what's the point even trying to be positive?
My therapist said there's something called existential therapy. I've found a little bit out online but I'd love to hear if anyone's ever had it. What were your feelings about it? Did it help?