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[YummyMummyBear]

Hi There,

I gave birth four months ago to a perfect little boy the thing is i am still tramatised by my horrific labour.

I was 2 and a half weeks over due so they decided to bring me in and induce... They used that gel thing were you are supposed to get two doses a day. Well they did nothing for the first day i was in, on the second day they gave me one dose and left me with lots of pains all through the night. The next day they told me they were too busy to give me another dose so gave me some pethadine and put me to bed. The next day a doctor broke my water (i was only 1cm) it was the most painful thing i have ever been through. I went into labour straight away and was told there was no-one available to give me an eppidural. I was with the same midwife for nearly 8 hours, still no baby. Then the midwifes changed shift and the new one asked me why i hadnt asked for an eppidural that there had been a doctor on call to give them out. I cried and screamed that i had asked repeatedly! The doctor came down to do the epidural which worked for about 30 mins then the pain was unbearlable again. I hadnt moved from 8 cm in over 4 hours. I was screaming that i could do it on my own and thought somethin was wrong. Then all of a sudden my partner was called out of the room now over 20 hours in labour and still 8cm. They came back in and told me that the baby was facing the wrong way and that the heartbeat was dropping rappidly and they were calling out an emergency doc. This emergency doc took over an hour to come and took one look at me and rushed me up for a emergency c section after 24 hours in labour.

I dont know if this is the norm (my sister has had two babys - both labours over in a few hours and out the next day!) I was in hospital for over two weeks, had awful treatment from midwifes and just had a horrible time. It took me weeks and weeks to get over the pain but its been four months on and i still cant get over it. I cry all the time about it. My partner mentions things like "save the cradle for the next one" and i just know i cant go through that again.

Am i being a wimp?

i hope your still there how can you say "are you being a wimp" sounds like you didnt get a pleasent experiance

Oh you poor thing, sounds like you had a terrible time , my two were both CS, the 1st emergency 2nd elective. Epidural does take time to get over and i ended up havin to see an osteopath as my pelvic bone ahdnt got back together correctly, vv bad back ache all the time. apart from that my midwives were lovely (say midwives because i was in for 3 days having my 1st before i had the CS!!)

I think like every profession you get good ones and bad ones, sounds like some of yours werent so good. I think they forget that it is meant to be a special time, being a midwife isnt just a job its a vacation, your attitude affects the ladies your with very deeply.

You have been poorly treated and may need help to come to terms with it. On its own you could probably deal with each individual hurdle but a combination of things is somtimes more than you can deal with. Try and braek things down into smaller issue that are more managable.

Hope this helps >

I kow but i just feel i should have been able to cope better with it - all my friends had great labours, why was mine so terrible. I didnt smoke drink or anything and took great care of myself. I was so excited about the birth and the whole experience has put me off for life..

Thanks stoppinattwo, i even wrote a letter to the hospital but never posted it! The midwifes were terrible..

Hmmm meant vocation not vacation

no your are not being a wimp most hospitals let you go throughthe birth notes wirh a trained person after the bay is 6 weeks old to help mother traumatised by birth perhaps this would help you my sister had a c section after along labour hope you find the courage to talk to someone maybe your Health visitor or gp about howe you feeling

i hope your still there how can you say "are you being a wimp" sounds like you didnt get a pleasant experiance i hope that you can get over your upset and so you know ive been told not every pregnancy and birth are the same mind you only had one child and suffered painfull SPD during my pregnancy so hoping the saying is true.

Firstly congrats on healthy baby boy, secondly you are certainly not being a wimp at all so please dont think that, I had dd (20 months) 'normally' with the help of an epidural that just numbed one leg (great!) I was in labour for 21 hours with ds (I also got the 'no dr to do epidural rubbish) which then had to be emergency c-section aswell, that was 6.5 months ago and tbh still something I can't quite get over. Have you thought about complaining to the hospital about the treatment you received? Probably the last thing you want to do but may help? Does your dh know how you feel maybe talking to him may help? WIsh I could offer more comfort than this

I just want to scream at someone (especially the little poisoned troll midwife that put me through hell!)

Its good to know that im not being a wimp. My partner thinks because we got a perfect baby out of it then it was "pain for the gain" type thing and i should be over it

have a look here

Don't bloody blame you for not wanting any more, entire thing sounds awful!

Hmmmmmm not to disrespect your partner in any way whatsoever BUT I dont think he realises how it has affected you and how big a deal it was for you, tbh I thought c-sections were easier than 'normal' deliveries until of course mine, I only began to feel like a normal person at around 5 months after ds!

yes well men do think stupid things like that.

thel him that once he will allow you to hit him repeatedly in the bloocks with a steel baseball bat for 24 hours, slice his dick open, then care for a newborn instean of recovering for 6 weeks, you will consent to another pregnancy.

Well said!

lol colditz, im off to buy a baseball bat!
lol lol

i dont think i would ever elect for a c section or advice anyone else, it was just awfull, i could pick the baby up or breast feed or anything! god i couldnt talk for days that hurt too much! lol

I got a cold shortly after, sneezing and coughing was horrific most heartbreaking was not being able to life dd for 10 weeks or even have her on my lap made up for it now though!

Congratulations on your little one - you are not being a wimp you had a horrendous experience and you need to grieve, to talk about it and accept it to be able to get over it.

I had a 72 hour labour over new year and ended up having an assisted delivery with no pain relief when I had said from day 1 of my preganancy I want an epidural! The good news is that by talking about it I managed to get over it and my little girl is 19 months old. I don't think about it and I want another one whereas the thought would have terrified me at 4 months!

I wouldn't expect your husband to understand. It is very difficult - although he was there with you he did not go through it in the same way you did.

All of us have such high expectations about our babies and such high emotions and then a difficult labour is horrible. I found one of the worst things about a long labour was the fact that you want your baby so much and when they don't come it is awful - I was on a ward post delivery ward with all these mums who had their babies whilst I was contracting every 15 minutes or less!

Just find people who will listen to you, including your GP, your sister and us mumsnetters. Be honest and accept how you feel and it will get easier over time.

Good luck we are all routing for you!