Just had a row on the phone with dp

[mumxx]

He's out again, Im sooo fed up, anyway i got off the phone, anyway DS asked me if daddy and I were going to split up, i said I hoped not, DD said well could we have a new Daddy anyway as DP is always shouting at them when he minds them while im at work. DS said yes I would like a new daddy too

This makes me soo sad, I swear i never discuss how Im feeling infront of the DC's and there is very rarely arguemtns in the house, my parents argued a lot and I hated it, it scared me. Now i feel even worse that the children are unhappy too. They have trusted me to say something to me. Dont know what to do, He is not a bad man, not violent not lazy, can be v sweet but i feel i deserve better than this. My DC's are the most important thing in my life and if they are sad then it tears me apart, their feelings about this has added a whole new dimension to my worries about our relationship.

I feel like this is groung hog day, Ive been here soo many times before. am soo fed up with it all

Feel very sorry for all of you. You haven't given us any information about what the problem is beyond shouting at the children. But it sounds desperately bad if the children are talking like that. Feel very sorry for you but can't say anything more useful without knowing exactly what is wrong.

Oh mate, I'm so sorry, that's rubbish.
I can only suggest that you get a baby-sitter, go for dinner with him and calmly, nicely tell him all this.
Feel for you as it must be so hard to hear that from your chilkdren. Hope the 2 of you can work this out.

Oh this is soooo not good, he's now been out all day playing golf.(he never plays golf, but his mate has invited nim)

Supposed to be back at 3.30.Its not that im bothered that he isnt back, the house is quite stress free and we've had a lovely day. houseful of kids (just the way it should be), all having fun etc. Its just i think he is soooo disrespectful, just a call to say look its gonna be later than i expected sorry. Am gonna have to say something before something clicks in my head and i just tell him to go. I have had two long ish relationships before him, but no kids, ( we have two children )I will decide all of a sudden i have had enough and once ive decided there is no going back. I can be quite a hard person at times like that, but it takes a lot. Im not really a crier either. Dont know what to do because i cant even be arsed talking to him about it. I would do it for the kids but seeing as they have said they dont even like him anyway Ive got no reason to stick up for him. Just got to wait for the feeling to switch off in my head. If i was on the outside looking in i would tell myself to get rid, but for what?, someone else who does exactly the same, nobody is perfect. Hmmmmm just dont know what to do.

Mummxx it sounds like you don't even like him anymore not to mention love him! How would you like your life to be in 5 years time? Can you see yourself ever being happy with your dp (is he your dc's birth dad btw?)?

Yes he is their dad.

I do think a lot of him, but I think its gonna take a lot for him to get me to feel the way I did.and if im being honest i dont think hes got it in him to do the things it would take, though i would love him to proove me wrong.

Im not into ultimatums tho (proving your love and all that shit) its all so false, you do things because you want to not because you have to.

Maybe things are a bit stale, i really dont know, we have had the worst year that anyone could imagine, I have DSS's, i love them all dearly but one of them has done something terrible last year which got the family into real turmoil and has put a lot of pressure on us all.

I would like to use this as an excuse but it feels a bit lame, why is it women always seem to cope with these things and men dont? (sorry v sweeping statement and am generalising)