I can't stop crying

[paperchaser]

I'm not depressed, but I didn't know where to put this.

I'm in the process of seperating from DP. We're dealing with our financial issues and all the other practical things. I instigated the split and am mostly looking forward to him moving out and both of us being single again.

I just wish I could feel excited about my new life. I don't want to continue with the relationship, but I feel like I've got nothing to move on to. It's bloody miserable!!!!

WTF am I gonna do with myself all day when he's finally gone? All my friends are in relationships. I need to get a life and have some fun, but how?

How do I meet people? Will I just rot away indoors?

Anyone else out there with some idea of what I'm going through? or someone that can cheer me up a bit?

So sorry for the delay, I really feel for you, my ex dh was always saying he'd leave and that he needed his own space etc etc, then he was convinced I was having affairs here there and everywhere, it was ridiculous, but he would never leave our home I would go and stay with family with ds, I did it once came back to find him leaving our home with another woman, I also found alot of my personal belongings had been thrown away, I forgave him all of this and I now realise that in doing this I gave him total control over my life and I ended up disliking who I was and feeling very insecure and weak nothing like the woman I used to be. Its good that you realise what he is doing, and that you are strong enough to see what you want and go for it. He, imo, is scared and a little insecure and is looking for excuses to stay with you, he seems to be acting like he's cornered and is lashing out. I wish there was some more advice or something else I could do but you know I'm always here for a chat or more often than not a rant! Also here for a day out in sunny (well not today) Southend, theres loads of us mners here. I'm also on msn if you ever wanted that address let me know, keep your chin up and stay strong paperchaser x

Oh don't be sorry. It's helped so much to write all this stuff down and you've been great. I really need to hear that it's possible to come out the otherside and be happy. I was just reading my first few posts on this thread and I can't believe how much my outlook has changed. Rotting away in doors alone seems a lot more appealing than what I've got right now.

I hate him right now. DS spent the day with his sister. His family know we are seperating and they've been really good so far. It's important to me that they know they can see DS when they want to and I don't want an atmosphere between us. So, we both went to collect DS from his sisters house. He sat on her sofa and didn't say a word - not even hello or goodbye. Then when we left he shouted at me the whole way home about how I was trying to turn his family against him. I'm so sick of him and his moods.

Your ex -h sounds like an absolute bastard - how dare he bring a woman to your home and throw your things away I totally know what you mean about ending up disliking yourself. I bloody hate the person I am now.

I'd love to chat on msn. My email addy is [email protected]. If you mail me I'll send you my msn address. I can't put it on here cos it's my real name.

Hope to chat to you soon and thanks for following this thread

Oh paperchaser another mnetter here having major issues with her H, no longer dh have to say. Found out he'd been having an affair for a year just after we'd emigrated here to the US. I love it here and want to stay so put it all behind us and tried to move on. Then in Feb he asked for trial separation. I now know why. He was seeing his lover again (she's a colleague and older than him 51). He's never stopped seeing her. We're having counselling. Another time/place I'd have kicked him out, but I so desperately want to stay here as can have far better life. Loads of friends too, cost of living loads cheaper than UK and safer. So having to put up with his infidelity lack of respect. So I know exactly how you feel. He's moving back in here this week, spare room, but I'm dreading not having my own space. Take care of yourself. Just wanted to let you know that you're most decidely not alone.

Oh I'm so sad to read that alibaldi. Can you not stay in the US without his support? I really feel for you having to deal with his affair. My DP (I must stop calling him that) hasn't had an affiar to my knowledge, but he's been constantly complimentary about my friends and his mates girlfriends/wives throughout our relationship and it really, really hurts. I can't imagine how you must feel. xx

Sadly not as we're here on his visa. But hey we the friends I've made I'm getting by, missing adult conversation and hug, kisses etc. But you know what that's like. If you want to chat offline, you can always get me on msn too.

That's a shame. Sending you a friendly hug and kiss for what it's worth. I'd love to chat to you on msn. My email is [email protected]. If you mail me I'll send you my msn addy.

I'm glad that you're staying in the US for you though. Hope to speak to you soon. Take care of yourself. xx

Hi paperchaser, just thought I'd post to see you how you were, hope you are ok xx

Hi, I'm fine thanks. Hope you're ok too

Had a run in with DP's mother today. She's looked after DS a couple of times recently and apparantly he told her daughter that DP had been sleeping in his car. I bloody wish. She wasn't impressed and gave my a bit of a talking to. I'm a bit pissed off about this cos I really wanted to stay friendly with his family for DS's sake, but I could tell today that she blames me for our seperation. I know that DS didn't say this as he's autistic and never lies, and more to the point none of DP's family can understand a word that DS says.

Apart from that, DP seems to be out of his trance and is getting on with things a bit more readily. He seems to understand now that he can snoop as much as he wants, but he's not going to find anything that will make me want to stay in this relationship.

Thanks for thinking of me. xx

My email addy is on this thread and I'd love to chat on msn if you're up for that. Thanks for checking in on this