Just cut my arm for the first time and am scared

[pimskie]

Just that really. Things got too much and I got a knife and slashed it over my arm. Don't know why and am scared. DH will freak out when he sees it. Feel embarrassed. DC in Bath upstairs and am scared to go up in case they see the blood. How can I stop myself from doing it again?

That's terrible. I hope you are OK. You must know why... at least sort of. If you've never done it before there must be something on your mind. Do you have a history of depression? Or is this just completely out of the blue? I suggest putting a plaster on and going to sort out the DC in the bath in the first instance. I don't have any knowledge of this, so don't think I can help much... please can you explain a bit more - what got too much? Have you felt like this before? Hopefully someone with some experience will be here shortly...

Thanks... been depressed for a while and on Set ravine since August. Had a stressful day and DC played up at bedtime and all the noise and shouting just got at me. Felt really panicky and ran off leaving DH with the boys in the bath. Ran downstairs and couldn't breathe and somehow found myself in the kitchen with a knife. Still not sure how I got from panic to knife.

Not to make light of, I have no comprehension of proper depression (occasional miserableness, yes). Have had relatives with proper depression, so understand how it can be. But I would have run down stairs and found myself in kitchen with wine - not knife. I don't understand as have never been there. Lucky that DH is there... does he understand a bit of what you're feeling? Can he help?

You need to find some ways to not act in the moment....if you can distract yourself or 'stick with it' for a few minutes when you are at high emotional arousal that often allows the moment to pass and you to regain enough self control not to self-harm.

Things that are really helpful for this are 'mindfulness' and 'grounding' techniques, alomg with learning some relaxation strategies.

There are often some resources for learning these self-regulation techniques on websites about DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) which is a treatement for borderline personality disorser/emotionally unstable personality disorder. DBT focusses on the individual developing skills in 'tolerating' and not acting on heightened emotions and ways to 'bring the emotions down'.

Also I'd suggest looking more generally at stress management in your life, and if there are things that are causing you stress or upset that need resolving. Find some ways to relax and have 'you time' too.

Good luck.

And maybe consider getting some help for your low mood.

No great words of wisdom but my advice as someone who has self harmed for 10 years would be to do anything you can to make it a one off slip.

Self harm is destructive and addictive and I wish I had never made that first cut.

Distraction can be useful; watching TV, listening to music, going for a walk etc. It can also help to take things in short doses, so take things ten minutes at a time and just focus on getting through those minutes and not worrying about the rest of the day.

It would also be worth going to your GP, medication and therapy can be very helpful.

Take care

Thanks so much for your help. I will certainly try to distract myself should I feel so upset and acutely stressed again. I really do not want to do this again.