not sure

[jesy]

I've been awake since 4am today and not sure what I'm doing.
Yesterday I had a fight with my mum, little thing that I wanted to use an alternative ingredients in a recipe and I had a comment of oh here we go again. It was a simple comment but it hurt me.
Last night texting the bloke been seeing for six weeks and I was hurt by fact he said no rush for sex .
I'm not sleeping and when I do I have horrible dreams and wake up with palpitations.
I drink to much and I don't want to do anything most days. Yesterday I got so stressed when I was cooking I got pains in my back .
I'm unemployed , apply for jobs all the time but no luck it's all getting to me now.
I don't want to go to drs and can't afford things like rescue remedy .
I'm worried the way I am Will push this bloke away ,he call me his smiley lady , he is one of the few positive things in my life at the moment , he is kind caring generous funny attentive which is often hard to find and I do t want to mess up coz I'm low

I'm glad it was helpful

I'm pleased it was a relief :) please let us know how you get on, when you try his suggestions :)

Well I slept like a log last night woke about 2am but after that went straight to sleep,I did like he said at 9:30 ditched off tv etc.
Think relief helped I told nice bloke what Dr said , he said he'd been on antidepressant for years in the past.

That's wonderful jesy. Just why don't you want to consider counselling?

I know what my problem is and telling a councillor won't help its probably a cliche that family split when I was 17 and since then I've wanted a child, but I've started to face fact that no baby and I need to move on.

Counselling can help you see things from a different angle and lead to a new perspective and greater insight.

I had a m,c at 11 weeks two years ago baby was due on its dad's birthday so that playing on my mind

Oh jesy, I'm so sorry to hear that. Talking things over with someone can really help, sometimes just getting it off your chest makes a difference. You've already experienced that with the gp.

It's a while back now but it was hard to do it alone .

Do reconsider the counselling, at some point in the future. There are lots of different counselling techniques that you might find useful and exploring things with a counsellor definitely helps with the sense of aloneness (I have counselling and it's helped me lots, despite being very reluctant at first!)

Well woke up in a panic this am but I was more proactive and applied for three jobs.
I will think about counselling I must admit it helped speaking o. Here.
My ex texted last night did I want to meet up week of his birthday for a quiet drink as he knows it can t be best time for me ( it was when baby due), I've said maybe but if not I'll probably see him in town that see him in town at weekend.
Feel that a bit of progress as 6 .months ago I'd have said yes and knowing the physical and that all it is attraction we have it would be daft !