Crap parent

[Newburygirl]

Just wanted someone to listen really. Feeling really down. Am part of a post-natal group. We have a list of everyone's birthdays - childrens and mums. Everyone gives 35 when it's someone's birthday so that that person can recevie vouchers. So far I've given out £20 and have just been asked to give a further £10 for 2 other girls in the group. Thing is, no one remembered my birthday and I'm really hurt. I feel like I'm at school again and am the forgotten member of the group. Sounds so silly because I'm an adult, but I hurt. I've never been a group person really, because of this I think. I'm down anyway and this has just added to it and in the meantime I've parted with £40 I don't have, only to be forgotten. I wouldn't mind, but I get things for their children when it's their birthdays, and half of the group forget about my daughter. What should I do?

On top of this I am trying os hard to cook good food and healthy food and have no time for anything. Anyone out there who feels this way?

Hi newburygirl-I really understand why you feel hurt,I would too.
Do you socialise with any of the mothers outside of the group?
How lod is your daughter?

It sounds quite a lot of money to be giving ,is their many people in the group as it could become quite costly.

Do you have to subscribe this as I for one would'nt be able to afford it.I suspose as part of the group I myself would probably feel obliged to do this.
Could you talk to someome who runs the group and explain yor feelings?

Aww I am sure its not on purpose, it probably just got written down wrong!

Id make a joke about it the next time a birthday comes up, or something. I bet whoever does it will be really embarressed and just as upset as you!

why not just ask what happened?

Thanks for all your comments! I feel very supported by you all. Think I will use everything you've suggested - sure i've not been left out deliberately, will probably make a joke if it is mentioned and may possibly talk to one of the group. They are nice people, think it's just that i got forgotten and felt that it was because I am obviously not significant enough to be remembered.

I know what you are saying, lulbelle, about there being loads of parents who don't care about their kids at all. you're right. I'm trying to get this into persepctive. It's hard to get things into perspective when you're so tired. I think my perspective has become distorted. I try hard to be good in every area and I can't, that's simply the truth, but i have a husband (though lovely) who behaves like Monica out of Friends and is anally retentive about cleaning. He always manages to pass comment that the house is untidy, just at the wrong time! I try hard not to explode too many times. I also know inside that there is NO WAY he could look after 2 kids, cook everyone's meals and do the nightshift, so that keeps me slightly comforted.

It's a tough life out there for mums.