Hi, I'm a bit of a lurker but I need to write this down and maybe someone can share their experience or give some advice.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a ringing in my ears and it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I found it hard to get back to sleep last night- I managed after taking a zolpidem. Now I feel very anxious and all my thoughts are suddenly negative. For example, " I won't be able to sleep tonight", "I am going to have tinnitus forever", etc. I usually focus on something I have to look forward to, but I can't think of anything. I'm just scared.
I am recovering from nightmarish PND ( my dd is 18 months), and I generally feel quite well. I haven't recently changed my medication. I was singing in the car yesterday with my dd! Maybe the music was too loud or something.
There are a few other things I am concerned about.
My sister has just had dd2. She is so tiny, and I think the new baby might be a trigger for my anxiety. How can I help her if it freaks me out so much?
I don't feel I can talk to my DH or my parents. Despite having stuck with us through PND, I don't think he understands the illogical nature of anxiety, and it makes him feel bad if I share my bad thoughts. My parents are supporting my sister, and if they are anxious about me, it makes me more anxious.
My lovely gorgeous dd still wakes at least once a night, so I am already edgy at bedtime.
"The internet" says that tinnitus can't be cured. Honestly, I am going mad already, and it has been a day.
I feel like a weak person, who can't deal with normal things like a bit of earache and a lovely new baby.
So, help me! How to solve tinnitus? Is this health anxiety? How do I deal with the triggers?