This isn't normal is it?

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I am mostly happy and anxiety free until it gets and/or no one else is in the house. Recently I have sat here most evenings absolutely petrified that someone is in the house or about to break in. It's got so bad that I try and stay in the living room or kitchen facing the stairs/door at all times. I can't go to the loo, I can't go to bed, I can't do anything. I have to make sure everything is done before it gets dark.
If I make a noise then I feel like the person will use it to cover them moving around.
Every noise I hear I freeze and I'm petrified.
I'm at uni and live with one other person, I'm a lot better if he's around (even if he's upstairs or something) but obviously he's out a lot.
This has gradually got worse over the last two years, my boyfriend knows I'm very anxious at home alone but I don't think he realises how much.
In my mind there's a chance that someone could be here (albeit small) but there's still a chance. This was confirmed last year in my mind when my flat got broken into twice, the second time I was sat there as the man was trying to crowbar the door.
I'm increasingly anxious during the day as well, just general feelings of being worried about something and random things like driving down the motorway I'll get a sudden feeling that someone is about to hit me and kill me.

This all sounds ridiculously stupid.
I'm sat here with a knife just staring at the door and hoping that this isn't normal?

Poor you. It obviously comes from your previous experience and I can totally understand why you are scared. It seems to be ruling your life now though so you might need to talk to someone. Can you try some sort of victim support? Go and talk to your GP. Also can you make sure that you have sorted household security?
Sorry you are so worried.

Not normal at all - but understandable following being the victim of intruders in the past.

So, its good that its not normal, it means you can get help - you need some immediate help with the anxiety and medication can do that. If you go to your GP and explain things, they will be able to get you started on some anti anxiety medication and organise some counselling for you to help you retrain your mind to a normal level of natural safety awareness.

thank you for replying. Because it started befoer we were broken into I don't think that was the cause iyswim..but I don't know what else it could be.
Security wise we're renting. If it was down to me I'd have burgular alarms etc but to be honest I don't think I'd trust them even if we did have them.
I;m going to try and get an appointment with the student wellbeing people , the uni doctors aren't much use.

It is perfectly normal to feel a level of anxiety living on your own for the first time, lots of people will feel worried at some stage, but its the level of anxiety tht you are experiencing that is not normal - the good news is that it is managable. Student wellbeing people sound like a good place to start but please don't be afraid to ask for medication.

Another possible avenue is to chat to your community police officer. They may be able to refer you for a security review. I had one after a nasty incident.

The man who came out was very reassuring. He gave us new locks, wedge alarms that you can put under internal doors then if they're opened they activate, spray security stuff for on our valuables, personal attack alarms and lots of advice about keeping a charged mobile near by and always locking the front door as most thieves are opportunists.

It was really reassuring to go through things with him.

Have you thought it could be some sort of post traumatic stress? I know you say you had anxiety before but some anxiety about being on your own is normal can you recall if it was as bad as now?

Thank you that's really useful Mis.

It was quite bad before we were broken into. If it got dark when I was in a room by myself I'd be stuck there, if that makes sense. So yes probably about the same, but I lived with 8 people so it was unlikely I was alone for long/at all so it couldn't escalate daily if that makes sense.

Hi, if you are at Uni you can access University counselling services. Might be worth it to process your anxiety and help you with coping strategies? It may be quicker than going through your gp for NHS talking therapies, plus they often can give more than the standard 6 CBT sessions that most gp's can refer to, which can even be phone or group based. You may find Uni dh's less helpful because of other resources students can access, such as the appointment you hope to make. Worth looking up on your Uni's website about Uni counselling sessions and how to book those as well.

I use music when home alone, to block out any sound. When panic I tell myself it is the music, doors are locked, it is ok, time and time again.