Telling your children about a mental health illness

[luckywinner]

I am bipolar. Suffered with such bad depression when they were little. I had a horrible miscarriage around that time and they were old enough to grasp the idea that the baby had not had a strong enough heart so couldn't live outside my tummy. Heartbreaking but felt simple honesty was best approach.

My ds, who is now 9, asked me yesterday why I took so many drugs, and that he worried I was going to die because I took too many drugs. I told him it was fine as my doctor had given me the medicine and that it kept me well. He was still worried so I said the drugs were important and that when he was a bit older, I would explain to him why I need this medication. Of course he wants to know now.

I have always been v matter of fact with any health issues, and and don't see this as any different, but wonder if this is too much for him to understand. He is a v sweet, sensitive intelligent child but I do wonder whether I should go down this road.

If I do, then do I need to go to his teacher and tell her I'm bipolar as I don't want him saying something at school and be shushed or don't be ridiculous sort of thing.

I am not ashamed of my mental health. I do not wear a badge saying hey look at me, I'm bipolar. But I am honest. And think it is important to be so there is no shame in it.

Any thoughts/tips/advice?

You are absolutely right - there is no shame in mental illness.

My DD is 8 and i suffer from anxiety and depression for which i am on medication. I don't hid this from DD, i call them my happy pills and i tell her i take them because sometimes i get stressed. I don't tell her any more than that at the moment. Sometimes i can be a bit shouty and i tell her that my anxiety makes me do this sometimes and its not her fault (although lots of mums shout without anxiety - lets face it, kids can press our buttons and life is stressful these days).

I haven't approached it as saying that its an illness, i know bipolar is more complicated and tends to be something you need to manage all the time.

I think you should keep it pretty general though, as mental health doesn't have obvious symptoms especially for children to understand. Its not about being ashamed, its about not confusing them i think.

I wonder if there are any books aimed at children?

My kids know I'm a bit poorly in my mind and I need to have medication to help me feel normal like them. I'm bipolar. My 12 year old has dealt with it all her life and knows a bit more than the younger ones, but is very matter of fact about it.

My daughter's child psychologist said I must discuss it with her in general terms and not label my illness. So I explain to her that we have chemicals in our brain that control our thinking, feeling, functioning etc. Sometimes the chemicals don't work as they should and then pills can help to fix that. She was 9 or 10 when we had that discussion.

It's really good to here how you've done it. I had a quick google for tips so maybe if I get a chance I'll chat to him over the weekend. I think the chemical balance bit is a good way of describing it.