How to fix myself?

[FruitBasedDrinkForALady]

I recently realised that I'm pretty sure I have general anxiety disorder and am a massively overachieving people pleaser - the only part of my life where I really excel. As I read more and reflect on myself and my life, I can see how both have haunted me for as long as I can remember. A lot of it is family history (always the "good girl") and I've lived with and hidden it so long that no-one has a clue I'm anything other than "normal".

So, I'd love to know, is there a way to "fix" myself without having to go through a whole process to find out what's wrong with me? Any pointers would be a huge help. TIA.

I'm also a people pleaser. Beat myself up hugely for not keeping everyone happy and generally not being good enough. On paper all looks good. I've no answers but watching with interest!

I advocate counselling as this should give a safe space in which to look at the dynamics behind this and allow you to work through your issue in order to move on and live/be the person that you are comfortable with.

There is no quick fix but some counselling styles are more solution based, such as cognitive behavioral or nlp.

Ps hypnotherapy may help too.

Check out BACP for therapists in your area.

Mellowdramatic, I'm a disaster for beating myself up for not keeping people happy too - on one occasion I nearly made myself sick for not taking the flack for someone else in work screwing up, just because I was the one who noticed the problem!

Thanks for the suggestions Theoldhag, I'll think about them. I went through some counselling years ago (a while after my parents divorced) and it was useful, but, and I know it's unreasonable, I don't really want anyone to know I'm not who they think I am, I just want to become her without having to let them down. I'd have to explain to DH if I was going to sessions regularly, and I don't know how.

I think I'm looking for a miracle fix that I know doesn't really exist.

I think we both realise it's about thinking about things differently. I started reading a CBT book about "warped thinking". You get used to thinking about things in a negative way, and put a negative slant on new situations. Like the work situation you described, the normal way to look at this would be that someone cocked up and you had the nouse to spot it! You're obviously pretty clever!

Changing though is easier said than done. Do you have good days and bad days? I "underperformed" at a work meeting last week and it knocked me for six for a couple of days. Often I think of myself as a sub-standard human being, even though on paper I'm successful and have a lot to be proud of.

We should give ourselves a break shouldn't we?

Another people pleaser here - am doing lots of reading at the moment to try to work out where my head is at, because I feel immensely down about a lot of things and can't seem to find a way out of it. I seem to need everybody's approval for everything I do and get very anxious if I feel I've done the 'wrong thing'. I blame myself for things, beat myself up about it and then dwell on it for days, even the smallest things that probably nobody else has noticed. I feel like colleagues think I'm hopeless even though I'm getting good reviews. It's starting to take over my life to the point where I feel completely trapped and totally fed up.