I've always been very strong and confident but after a major setback last spring stress at work was getting a lot worse and the first 6 months of this academic year were exhausting but I felt I could manage and my line manager told me I was doing well and achieving all my targets.
Then we had an outside review who disagreed and thought I was rubbish. The pressure got even more intense and in the last three weeks I've been going downhill quickly.I can't relax, I have no appetite and I cry all the time. I just feel utterly out of control. I am constantly cornered at work and given new thing to do that apparently, even though noone had told me, should have been done 6 months ago. My line manager expects you to be a mind reader and seems to have conveniently forgotten that she, just a few weeks ago said I had been doign everything I should be doing.
I know am constantly tensed up, my stomach starts hurting as soon as I get off the bus and start walking towards work. On friday I had to break up a fight between three boys and had a panic attack afterwards. It took me an hour to calm down and stop crying.
I'm home today, I was going to go in to work but actually came down with a bad cold. Not sure if work believes me. So, I am going to go see my gp tomorrow. Not sure what I want or what help I can ask for. I don't really want to be signed off but I can't go on like this either.
I worry that the gp will laugh at me. I did a mood test on the NHS website and have printed the results out to take with me.