when you look in the mirror and hate who is looking back

[mouses]

its been building up again, yesterday I wanted to scratch my face off, the only thing stopping me is the fact my kids will have to see me a mess. I know i would make it worse too. today I reached for the scissors to cut my hair off! I pulled at it so hard, had to stop the urge to hurt myself.

I look in the mirror and I just see ugly features, worn, dull, lifeless face. im 31! my hair is thin and still falling out. I see fat legs, a mess. I have to put make up on and cry whilst trying to make something of my face.
to add to this my mental health makes things seem so much worse. so many undiagnosed problems, body dysmorphia being one of them.

dont even know why im posting, suppose im just trying to get some of this pain out?

Oh mouses I wish I could say or do something to help you. regardless of what you think of yourself your DC will always think you are beautiful. Fwiw, i've found you to be such a lovely person from your replies to me xx

hey you, :-)
don't know what ive done wrong to be cursed like this? I think we can all give advice to others but wont take our own.

just excuse me, im having a bum day. nothing has happened its just me! should be grateful really maybe that's what it is?

xx

I never follow my own advice

It's bloody unfair that some people get loaded down with crap and others just breeze through life with hardly any problems. Is there something nice you can do for yourself - have a soak in the bath maybe? Stuff your face with chocolate (I've just inhaled half a bag of haribos), hot drink/wine and a film? xx

I would love to stuff my face but id end up crying with guilt that im making my body worse. I don't drink either.. yea proper bore!

id love to have just a peek of what a breeze through life feels like, Id shake the hands of those on that path. just seems from my day of birth I was destined to be ruined?

I actually went out today with dd to treat myself to some new boots as my trusty 'years old' died on me. but i walked around like a wet cloth not even really looking. dd got a new pair so wasn't a wasted trip.

sorry on a right downer, thanks for taking time to reply xx

i'd like to be able to give you some amazing and helpful advice but I'm clueless with stuff like this. I'm sure you don't deserve the shit hand you've been dealt but I suspect you have coped much better than many other people would have (myself included) xxx

don't think there is advice for curse of the 'mental health and uglyness' other than ''pop these pills, it'll cover it all up''

oh gees, now im sounding proper ungrateful.
im off to find that rock to crawl under..............