struggling a bit

[starshaker]

finding things really hard at the moment. The preliminary hearing is at the end of the month. I know he will plead not guilty then i will need to stand in front of people and tell them all what he did to me. I need a tattoo but i know i will need it more after. I cant sleep and everything is making me cry. Its too hard

none of that makes any sense.

I now dont have anybody to talk to. My best friend has made it clear she doesnt even see it as an issue and ive obviously been annoying my other half because he doesnt want me talking about it either. He says going on about it will consume me but ive kept it to myself for years and that didnt help either. Maybe its best if i just shut up and say nothing. Why should other people have to deal with my shit.

I want everything to stop. I dont want to do this anymore.

This thread just shows how pathetic my life has got. Today i went to my doctor and was told "you really should have expected this when your reported it" Hes right, i should have known. Its my own fault all these thoughts are in my head. When i was driving i thought how easy it would be just to hit something but thats would cause other people problems. I ran through my head what would happen with my children. They have nobody else so i need to stay around for them. I wish they had a better family, a better mum

Hi starshaker,

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time at the moment. I think it helps a lot to be able to talk about what's on your mind. Is there any way you can get a doctor to refer you for some counselling? Maybe see a different doctor to the one you saw already. I realise it takes a while on the nhs,, maybe you're already waiting, but keep pushing for the help xx

Hi star shaker do you want to talk about what he did to you?

Bless you, you sound consumed by anxiety, i know how thoughts can run away with you at times like this. Are you on any medication at all?

No medication the doctor said it would just be a band aid and didn't feel medication was the way to go. The slightest thing makes me cry.

I need to be ok later when dp calls. I don't want him to know how I'm feeling. I don't want to drag him down too