Just want to slit my fucking wrists.

[NamasteGirl]

Dh and ds are playing happily upstairs. I love them to bits but I feel so low today. I feel like a crap mother and wife and friend and everything. My head is a mess of spaghetti thoughts all day long and I cant stop them. I feel so fat and distgusting and am obsessed with what I eat (I am only eight and half stone but When I look down at myself I just see fat). I am a shameful, embarrassing excuse for a human being and I should die.

Please stay here and chat to us. You do not deserve to die.

I can assure you, your DS and DH don't think you're a shameful excuse for a human being. They love you and need you.

I dont know what to say. I am gawky and awkward and stupid and annoying and I cant do anything right. I should hang myself

Are you getting any psychiatric input at the moment, love? If not then please consider getting an emergency appointment with your GP tomorrow, or even going to your local Walk In Centre as they can give you a psychiatric assessment. If you are a service user already, it might be worth having a check in with your care co-ordinator to make sure your medication doesn't need changing or altering, or that you don't perhaps need some extra support in the form of counselling or therapy etc.
I promise you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you won't feel like this forever. I know it feels fucking awful right now, and you must feel completely hopeless, but there is help available and people want to help you to feel better.
Stay here and chat to us to get you through today, or call the Samaritans or your local crisis helpline, just to get through.

Do you have any professional support? A crisis team you could speak too?

Perhaps you could tell your DH how you are feeling?

Could you go upstairs and play with dh and ds? I find being alone when you feel so down actually makes it worse because you can dwell on the negatives more than if you are faced with company, particularly your dc.

You're don't deserve to die. You deserve to be here and to be happy.

Please talk to someone Namaste. You will get through this with the right help.

Samaritans 08457 90 90 90