Arguing with dh over me wanting to take drugs.

[selfdestructivelady]

I've had enough of feeling this way I just want a break in my teens I took drugs and it stopped the pain. I just can't take feeling this way no more and it's either drugs or suicide. I've been like this since dd was born 2 years ago. I just want a break from everything and drugs will do that.

Cannabis is the absolutely worst idea you could have. You think it will block the pain but what if you react badly and get horribly paranoid? Plus it will certainly make your symptoms worse in the days and weeks to come. Do you have an urgent response service in your area?

We have crisis who I have a number for.

We have a little song
"to stop the [gotmygoat] in cases of emergency, give her a panda, give her a panda..."

Might be worth giving them a ring and being really honest about how you are feeling at the moment - they might be able to help.

Self medicating with marijuana can work for some but I would argue only in conjunction with other well-being practices. Therapy (CBT, Existential, Psycho-spiritual maybe), meditation and introducing a natural break into your daily routine such as taking an extended walk. Just read the line about you having experienced psychosis in the past and I would recommend that you look into herbal alternatives such as damiana, mullein and passiflora in place of marijuana. In fact, there are many herbal blends you can try that are wholly made up of ingredients that are easy to get hold of and can be blended up at home for your consumption. Knowing what you are trying to keep at bay (e.g anxiety, depression, fatigue, intrusive thoughts) will assist in knowing which herbs would serve you best.

There are also equally potent and effective herbal alternatives to the sleeping pills you are currently taking like valerian for example.

Be careful about herbal remedies interfering with your current medication though.

I found when I was having a bad episode, intense exercise really helped, especially running. Eventually just the preparing to go out on a run would calm me down. Think it was the combo of blasting music in my ears, and the physical output of it masking the anxiety feelings.

I won't take the cannabis I will call crisis if I still feel the same in the morning until then I'll try for a early night. I really don't want to sit up casualty waiting for a hour to be seen by crisis tonight I'm too tired for that.

Thanks for all replies.

well done

In case you are interested in it before you're place comes up, I really recommend this introduction to mindfulness (scroll down to the bottom of the page for chapter 1)

Mindfulness

Hope you slept well and are feeling better this morning

Thanks all I slept well and feel slightly better this morning I'm going to make sure I have a very busy day to keep me occupied.