Cracking up- anxiety and insomnia

[v1oletsky]

Where to start? I got anxiety during the last couple weeks of pregnancy and then after the birth of my daughter it got worse. My brain keeps searching from one thing to the next to panic about. We've had every illness going one after another courtesy of my 3year old and nursery. My baby is 5 weeks and had to be admitted for bronchiolitis. Xmas and new year were a bit of a write off. After weeks of not much or broken sleep - where I struggle to go back to sleep after feeds, and I didn't want to sleep in the day as I felt guilty on not seeing my 3yr old - oh and it's so bloody dark outside its like living in constant nighttime - now I can't sleep at all!! My brain will not relax and shut down. I wander round in a fog, I can't think straight or see clearly. I don't know how to break this cycle! I have been prescribed sertraline but I really don't want to take it if I can stabilise my mood on my own, mainly because I fear the side effects. I've been trying to eat healthily, no caffeine alcohol or too much sugar and been going for short jogs which helps a little but I am struggling to cope.
Anyone been through anything similar?
I'm tempted to give up breastfeeding just so I can take some sleeping pills but I would feel guilty and it may not be a long term solution anyway.
Sorry for the essay x

I suffer from anxiety mainly around health and have been taking Citalapram for about 7-8 months and I have to admit they have made a big difference. I was also scared to start tablets but Im glad I did.

Do you have any practical support? Could someone take your older DC out for a few hours while the little one sleeps so you can nap? I know you say you feel guilty not spending time with your 3yo, but maybe a few hours with well rested Mum would be better than all day with tired, foggy Mum?

Don't feel guilty about giving up breastfeeding. Five weeks is a good effort.

You are right that you need a long term solution, and you have to think about the 3yo as well as the baby, and your 3yo needs a mum who can cope.

I put off taking tablets for about 3 years, partly because of the breastfeeding. I went on citalopram about a month ago, and they put me to sleep, but sleeping more has helped the whole family hugely. My babies never, ever drank from a bottle, so I was too scared to give up breastfeeding when DD2 was little. Otherwise I would have, despite having breastfed DD1. (a classic case of giving advice I didn't take myself)

I don't think you should underestimate what a difficult time you are having, you have a new baby, who is very poorly, a 3yo who needs attention, and all the attendant things to do with Christmas. That would be enough to affect anyone.

I hope you and your baby feel much, much better soon

Go and talk to the Dr and follow his advice, it may be anxiety rather than depression and whilst Citalopram will help you may be better of with a simple beta blocker type tablet.

Hi - I really feel for you as I could have written your post myself 2 years ago after the birth of my DS and I remember how awful that time was. Just to reassure you I am 100% back to normal now and my sleep is even better than before. I went to my GP very quickly and was put on sertaline for anxiety and within a couple of months they had made such a difference and then within 6 months I was back to my old self and I came off them after a year. I do think that the reason I don't suffer anymore was because I sought help so quickly and nipped it in the bud before it became learned behaviour. I am also so grateful that i got to enjoy being with my amazing baby rather than spending all day in a state! therefore would highly recommend treating your symptoms with ADs. Good luck x

Thanks for the responses. Last night and today I reached a particular low as I couldn't sleep until around 3am then got woken continuously til 6, as my poor baby has coughing fits with the bronchiolitis and needs to be sat forward. Anyway I'm like a demented zombie today so have finally taken the AD. But just the tiniest amount 12.5g just to start me off.
It's so weird I've have the odd sleepless night now and again life but never have I felt SO tired yet unable to drift off. Sucks.