so second time ive come to this site, first time single n not knowin how to control my toddlers out of control behaviour. now im here again cos im in such a dark place n no one to turn too! i never thought it wud b me... jesus ive gone through a violent boyfriend followed by a robbery where they pinned me down on my bed over 3 years ago. i ad counselling to get over the anxiety tht left me with.. so since then i thought id met a great fella my kids are happy. 10 n 4 both girls fight like crazy, i work full time in a job i loved until recentley my boss left n i adored her bur the dick we got in place.. he dunt do owt!! ive been doin study n trainin to be in management.. my life was happy.. the last 6 months av been hell. my bf ex says he been with her loads of times n hes always in pub drinkin.. tht i cant cope with alone so i blow up at him wen i drink.. so after my xmas party he beat up a male work colleauge where his face was a mess just for waitin for a taxi at my house i am so angry no one will speak to me at work ive never felt so unhappy. i spent most of xmas with my friends n new year i got drunk n took out my anger on my bf tryin to do to him what he did to my work friend. but im the bad guy now.. ive been doctors n cried my eyes out dint tell him all details n he gave me trazodone. i really dont know wat to do i jus wana be happy.. i think i know the answer but my heart wont let go, the thought of hurtin even more terrifies me. thanks for reading if you got to the end. i dont expect any comments i just needed to get it out my head somewhere where no one knows me!