What is this and want can I do about it?

[shiningthrough]

My family and I have had a hellish three years.
All sorts of things have happened, bereavement, lots of serious illnesses including children.
Enough really to tip anyone over the edge to the point that people tell me how brave I am.

There has been another recent difficult situation.

Can you tell me what you think this could be please?

It comes on when I am not doing much ie watching tv or similar.
I feel panicky and cannot calm myself down.
I am worried about everything, including irrational fears.
Sometimes my heart beats very quickly.
I cry frequently.
I find any interactions with other people including close friends difficult, I worry that I have/will say something wrong or stupid.
I can't relax.
I feel sad and even devastated.
My self esteem is suddenly, uncharacteristically low. I feel incredibly self conscious.

I am taking plenty of exercise, eating well drinking a bit but not enough to be a problem and I sleep for 7+ hours a night.

I have had counselling recently, I want to tell some people, close friends etc but I can't articulate the problem.
Except to say it's all encompassing fear and sadness.

I'm an idiot, aren't I?

Get those rubber gloves on then - have a good day

Evening, How did the day go for you?x

Hello - I've only just seen your post.

In fact, my day was great thank you.
I visited some friends who were just lovely.

How was your day? x

I couldn't find this thread!

An update.....

I went to the GP on Thursday, he prescribed me a few days worth of Diazepam and told me to come back yesterday (Friday) so they could check on me.
I went yesterday, Citopram was suggested again but I do feel resistant to it really.

I notice there's a Citopram thread in mental health so I will have a look at that too.
The Diazepam is helping, it's a shame it's addictive and I can't take it for longer really.