Can you come and talk to me about anxiety?

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

I have always had a bit of a nervous nature. Recently, I've found everything is getting worse.
I feel stressed all the time. I am worried about everything I do and say, and everything I have done and said. I worry about the future; recently I have been shaking when my mind is worrying about things. I've started having nightmares. Last night I was dreaming that somebody was terrorizing women, hanging them by their ankles.
Even if I am watching TV and doing something else, my mind is wandering. I can be reading and realize I've not understood a page of what I have been reading because my mind just will not shut up.
I work a full time job, my husband works 2 jobs to bring in money, I love my kids to death. I feel put on by friends who have all sorts of problems, I spend a lot of time listening to them and their issues, but I don't talk about mine to them as I feel they have enough on their plate.
I have a doctors appointment on Monday. Also makes me feel a bit anxious that they'll make notes on my file and say I am not looking after my children properly.
What is the doctor likely to do? I REALLY want to avoid being on tablets. What can I do to make myself less anxious?

Anxiety is incredibly, incredibly common. He won't bat an eyelid and most certainly won't put anything on 'file' re. your children.

What are you worried about mainly?

That's sounds abrupt! Didn't mean to come across abrupt :-)

I worry about everything!
Some of them are small, the "usual" worries (I am guessing). The "did I lock the door" worry, that often has me return home to check. I don't like being rushed; because then I lose control of the checking I do before I leave the house (have I switched everything off, locked everything, got everything etc). I worry if I don't hear from people such as my husband if he is traveling - has he had an accident? I can't settle at night unless I know things are "right".
I worry when I'm out and its dark. I am never able to bus home from town on a night out as I cant face the very short walk between the bus stop and my house in the dark.
I worry when my eldest child stops anywhere. What if there is a fire? Will the people she is staying with get her out safely? I worry when she's on a school trip - what if there is a coach accident?
I worry about the people who work for me, especially because they tell me all their worries, so I end up worrying about those.
I worry that something bad is going to happen, to the point I might be shaking because it's unnerved me.
It's constant. I don't know how to switch my mind off. it's always thinking and whittling away. I don't feel like I'm ever at peace.

Oh dear. Join the anxiety club. It's awful isn't it? Just worry, worry, worry with no respite and no way to turn it off.

I have never mastered mine but I've been told that CBT is excellent for anxiety. I tried it but I think I was too far gone at that point for it to help! I've tried an AD and it wasn't for me, so I understand where you're coming from re. tablets.

I'm still 'in it' and I'm hoping there will some lovely recovered-from-anxiety MNetter to help. X

See if you can get on a anxiety/stress management course try mind they do them in my area google your area and see what's available.

You say you have kids so it may be hard but try to get some you relaxation time. Have you a tablet or laptop you could download some breathing excercises a lot of us don't breathe properly from our stomach.

Try calms you can buy them from supermarkets if you don't won't anything from gp.

Do you think you have OCD the checking thing?

The GP will probably get you to answer these questions to establish how bad your anxiety is. The usual options are Prozac (or similar) and/or CBT so if you don't want drugs you can ask for the therapy.

I have always had the checking type thing. When I was younger it was slightly different - prayers I had to say before bed, steps to follow etc. I go through phases where I have to wear certain things, cant introduce new jewelry because it could be "unlucky" (yes, I know, I'm sounding a bit off the wall now!)

Off to bed... will check back tomorrow.

I found the book"Mind over Mood" to be really excellent. It takes you through your thought processes and makes you see where you thinking is heightening worries rather than taking a more rational view of life. It's a CBT kind of approach. I could do with going through it again actually.

I did a course in CBT which was a group thing and ok; didn't find it any more helpful than the book but some people do. I was referred by my GP.

I was very anxious because of things going on in my life. I learnt a bit how to deal with it through the above, but what helped most was reducing the sources of stress and tension in my life. It has been a difficult year and I'm not there yet but I am in a much better place than I was 12 months ago.

Oh, and I was very sceptical about deep breathing and meditation and stuff but that is enormously helpful too. Especially if I can do it when I can feel the anxiety coming on.

I got an app called Stress Free recommended by Anxiery Uk (or maybe by Nomorepanic). That has been great for helping me simply lie down and relax and stop the racing thoughts. Really recommend it.

Do calms actually work/do anything?

Didn't for me :-( Emergency Essence worked for me. It's like a Bach Flower remedy .

The book Mind over moodis brilliant as it overcoming anxiety, both on amazon.

This link is an Australian Psychotherapy website, each title is a module.
It gives educational material to explain symptoms which normalises your experiences. It then gives coping mechanisms so you can take control of your thoughts. Easy to read and very helpful.

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

I'm currently doing self guides cbt - 6 self guided 30 min sessions over the phone with a counsellor for my high anxiety which led to daily panic attacks. I've always been a worrier and anxious type, but after dc2 (4 months) things got incredibly bad and I was having panic attacks daily lasting 20-50 mins. They were terrifying.

Things have got a lot better and I'm given exercises and homework to do on a weekly basis.

Parts of your post could've been written by me! Especially the 'mind never switching off' part. I have only recently accepted that I must have general anxiety, right now I'm lying in bed worrying about (soon to be) DH who's on a night out with the boys - worrying that something's happened to him as I haven't had a text from him in over 3 hours (I know if I wrote that in Aibu I would be told that I am U!). Right now my big thing is my OH's health, but if it's not that then it's something else. I have downloaded Overcoming Anxiety but haven't got very far with it.

I went to the doctors today and he was very nice. I had a good cry. He has given me the nhs website address for anxiety to look at and a self referal sheet to the one on one sessions they do at the clinic. I said I did not want to be on tablets as I dont see it (for me) being a long term solution/fix, more a stop gap. He said I should make another appointment to see him after my one on one session.

My husband is being supportive but I don't feel I can discuss with anybody else.

You can talk us Elf. X

It is helping, posting on here.