Health anxiety just hit me again hard :(

[Lonelybunny]

Managed to wean off citalopram a few months ago due to bad anxiety over lumps and bumps in my breast , scans came back all clear . Read an article today about a young lady dying of bowel cancer now I've found a lump in my neck and convinced my self it's cancer :( what's bloody wrong with me ! Sometimes I wish it was so I could just die and get it over with already ! I deserve to suffer and be unhappy anyway so just come and get me :,(

Its crippling. DH suffers.

We have a multy point plan we work through.

First he isn't allowed to google anything medical.

Second he needs to write down his concern very briefly in the diary and then not look at that note again. save it for a routine GP appointment at a set time away. We agreed to quarterly with the GP. But initially it was he had to wait two weeks.

Third is to get physically busy. Do ironing, clean, walk the dog, do the shopping. Under no circumstances sit on own. The physical adrenaline release helps ease the anxiety.

We know various things effect DH like general stress makes him more prone, having drinks with aspartame in are a deffinate trigger, lots of fatty foods can make him more prone, being tired is deffinately not good. As DH now knows lots of his triggers we run through the triggers list and quite often he'll identify triggers that help him to understand why he's feeling more anxious and that helps reassure him.

He needs a really big kick to get busy and not sink down into it. But it is so important not to let it take you over. You can do it.

I anticipate that your first thought when I ask the next question will be the article.....but can you think about what is going on in your life at present that could be making you more prone to stress i.e. christmas/ family/ presents/ money etc?

Thanks so much for the reply , deff the article has set it off , but I'm also nackered too which I know is a factor , have 3 young kids , work full time , got Xmas at my house this year so no doubt stressed out , I try and keep busy busy , thank you so much

Have you ever read about adrenaline curves? Its not just busy, its physical activity thats needed. The anxiety adrenaline needs to be worked off and this occurs very slowly if you're sitting, quite slowly if you're just normal active but if you can build up a sweat by the activity it releases quickly.

Its a vicious circle if you're tired and stressed you're more prone to becoming anxious and if anxious its harder to get a good nights sleep.

DH appears a happy go lucky laid back person to outsiders. People say everything is water of a ducks back for him, but it couldn't be further from the truth. He appears to not stress about anything and then the built up not discussed stress from everyday life all spectacularly manifests around a (non) health issue.

DH did this mindfulness course which helped, slowly, to identify those things effecting him around him that he'd always thought didn't bother him. He's learning to say no more to people and to answer back a little. Its like a pressure relief that helps to take the edge off building anxiety.

Possibly for you Christmas at yours, suggests its not just your normal household but extra family/ friends? Are there some tasks that actually could be shared, drop off the bottom of the list because they're just not important enough?

We've got three DC. High as bloomin kites, very excited about Christmas. we're shattered from the long term at school and from working on the house garden every spare minute since moving in in the summer. Fortunately we don't have Christmas at ours this year and the stress relief is amazing. I love hosting it but for once its a stress I could do without.

Its not an easy journey but for DH after twenty years of being crippled he's completely turned it around the last two. He's done several courses of therapy CBT and mindfulness and had psychiatric nurse support but he really is much much better.

Have you ever managed to discuss the actual anxiety, not health symptoms from it, in detail with the GP or just been fobbed off with drugs?

Thanks for your reply , interesting to hear how others control it , I have others coming for Xmas tea but they will help me which is great but it's still the build up I guess . Prob I have with HA is I fixate since coming home a couple of hours ago I've poked and prodded my neck abd decided I have a lump and a bend esophugus which I always put down to the big C . It's really hard , I prob won't sleep great but gonna try. GP just gave me citalopram but I weaned off as I think they were causing my hairloss I'm not sure .....

With DH its AIDs and the big C. When I was pregnant with DD i had the routine early bloods where they do STI checks and you sign a form for consent. DH left the room for the needle and I thought we were clear then when we got home he got in such a state. He ended up at the GP being tested himself. I was so insulted/ hurt/ confused. It was as though he was saying either I'd been unfaithful or he was admitting he had. Neither was of course the case - just the unbelievable overwhelming overtaking of health anxiety.

The problem with prodding is ultimately you physically hurt yourself. DH has on (many an) occasion made himself so unbelievable sore.

Necks are full of glands and if you prod them you'll agitate a gland. But no doubt you're an intelligent women and reason isn't easy to find at present, because it effects intelligent people, who have the brain capacity for significant extrapolation of thought.

DH did have a pot of incase of emergency pills (not the top yourself variety) but something that could help take the edge of to allow him to get to sleep when it does get too much. He doesn't to my knowledge use them at present but after many years on various combinations of pills they were an assistance in adjusting to being off full time tablets. He also used sleeping tablets occasionally for a while but was scared of getting addicted.

Oh yes the dreaded sti check ! That freaked me out , the blood test , worried me sick something would show up , it didnt of course but scared me so much that it would , I hounded poor DP (who I know hasn't been unfaithful) but as you say it takes over your intelligence , you just can't help it. I'm feeling better this morning, I'm going to take on board your tips of watching out for the triggers , not googling (so important) writing it down for future GP appointments , and of course keeping busy , these are great , you are very supportive to your husband , he is very lucky to have to have you , thanks a lot for your help :)