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Mental health

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Original poster

Keeping depression a secret

14 replies

nosextoday · 21/12/2013 18:10

I have to keep my depression a secret from dh's family who are visiting over Christmas. Nobody knows the real me and I have to just keep smiling and hiding how I feel about all kinds of things.

I'm a fake. I just want it all to be over with. I can't be arsed to do all this.

I was given a different brand of antidepressant by the chemists and they must be rubbish because I started experiencing withdrawal symptoms and have become depressed again now. I'm back on my usual brand but they haven't kicked in yet and I feel like a zombie.

I can't afford to be like this

OP posts:

Helpyourself · 21/12/2013 18:15

Why do you have to keep it secret, Nosex?
How long are they staying?
What's happening between now and their arrival? Can you try and get as much sleep, sunlight and fresh air as possible until then; it's really hard at this time of year, but until your usual antidepressants kick in you need all the help you can.

Original poster

nosextoday · 21/12/2013 19:18

They're here for a week. They don't know anything about my mental health other than I'm a bit odd sometimes. I don't feel as though I can talk about it.

OP posts:

DuhDuhDuh · 21/12/2013 19:30

Could your dh not speak to them before they arrive - kind of like a shhhhh nosex isn't feeling well, she doesn't want to discuss it but treat her nicely and give her a break?

Original poster

nosextoday · 21/12/2013 20:41

He's not happy that I'm feeling like this. He doesn't care.

OP posts:

DuhDuhDuh · 21/12/2013 20:42

I'm sure he cares ...............I have crippling depression so I can kind of understand what you are going through..........

Original poster

nosextoday · 21/12/2013 20:48

Trust me, he doesn't care. He just wants me returned to my functioning state. I'm just a nuisance at the moment. My marriage is shit. I'm just going through the motions. I hate having to rely on drugs but I can't function without them. All I am is just a shell filled with antidepressants. If you take then away there is literally nothing left. I feel like I've died already.

OP posts:

DuhDuhDuh · 21/12/2013 20:53

Maybe you need a different AD, I've been on loads and to be honest, I don't think much if the ones I'm on now!!!

How long have you been taking these ADs? And when do you next see your consultant??

You sound really really low

LoisWilkerson1 · 21/12/2013 21:08

you do sound low. I can relate as I'm also 'in the closet'. faking happiness is harder at christmas I would really struggle with guests too.Maybe fake a virus when they are there? Get to your GP if you can xxxhugsxxx

DuhDuhDuh · 21/12/2013 21:11

I agree with Lois - fake a virus, it's only a half lie, you're not well it's just not a virus. Can you see a dr before Christmas? Xxxxxxxxxxx hugs xxxxxxxx

Original poster

nosextoday · 21/12/2013 21:26

I really appreciate everyone's replies. My meds usually work well and I feel okay. I could fake a virus. I've had one recently.

OP posts:

DuhDuhDuh · 21/12/2013 21:27

If you've had a virus recently could that be affecting your mood too?

LoisWilkerson1 · 21/12/2013 21:35

Its not uncommon for a virus to floor you for a couple of weeks after in terms of energy so it would be a plausible excuse to be a bit quiet. I take it cancelling the visit is a no no? duh good point, I had the novovirus last year and it did affect my mood, looking back on it.

Helpyourself · 22/12/2013 10:40

2 plans:
Christmas- virus and a word from DH that you're under par and to give you a break.
The Future- big talk with DH about supporting you, review meds with GP and maintenance- counselling.

And it's a bit homespun, but do try and get as much fresh air and sleep.

Timeforabiscuit · 22/12/2013 11:20

You are ill, you are trying to get better - there is no lie to that,

If you've been on the new anti depressants long enough to know if they're not working for you then try going back to the doctor - or if you feel they need a little longer to find your level hang on in there.

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