Why do I want to hurt myself and have bad, horrible thoughts when I'm a mum and have responsibilities? I keep thinking I just need to get through to new year, that's all. There's no way I can cope with another year like this, or put my family though anymore stress and worry.
I'm so upset, feel so desperate and finding myself self harming when I don't mean to. I whacked my head on the wall earlier, then scraped my hand with scissors. I can't stop thinking about tablets in the kitchen but I'm not allowing myself to go in there. I don't feel safe, I don't trust myself. I spoke to my cpn earlier.
That's it really, just want to vent, don't expect a response as I've posted similar before and I know it's boring. I'm just alone and shamefully mn is all I have tonight.