My motivational thread

[ashamedoverthinker]

I've just been trying to read a bit about self help stuff to get going again and I've decided I need a list. I'm posting here instead of housekeeping as I am feeling a bit low and fragile.

I have experienced mild to moderate bouts of depression over the past 7 years. I'm a SAHP (well practically a LP during the week) to one school aged child and a toddler. I mainly want to work on my low self esteem. A daily reminder of 'how shit I am' at 'living' is the state of my house.

We are always cleanly dressed (just) and cook food most days, some days from the freezer. Havign said that there are times recently I could be much better organised and sick of 'flying by the seat of my pants'.

All welcome to join in. - Just don't mind my ramblings!

Today so far (yey!)

I've tied, dusted and hoovered lounge.
Done three loads of washing
One dishwash
Cooked a dinner

This evening

Tidy main bedroom
Linen onto bed
More washing
Clean toilets
Bonus if I can wrap tonight

Looking ahead to tomorrow

Collect M&S presents
Wrap and post off three parcels
Write and post cards
Sort through unwanted clothes
Nails

depression.about.com/cs/selfhelp/a/procrastination.htm

I've done a lot more tidying.
Made a full dinner
Bathed kids
Cleaned toilets
Porch is completely clear
Fourth load of laundry
Worktops clear
Arranged presents under tree (a lot of faffing)
Dealt with homework issue
Had a long soak in bath

I feel lots better for being tidier. I'll be relieved when the I get the presents posted as I'm pushing it for delivery.

I read up about some of the thoughts I have in relation to a particular issue (type of thing other people would just let go of) and apparently its normal, healthy even to think like this. It's good to know I am not a horrible person for thinking this way. I feel calmer because of this and much more focussed. But equally getting busy has been helpful too.

I have also read up about housework. I know this seems perfectly obvious what needs doing, when etc. But I can never decide what is the right amount/standard - part of dithering and lacking confidence to make small everyday decisions when i am like this. Well we not ready for House & Home but if someone called for a coffee we'd be ok.

Ok, so im not that motivated this AM to do 'stuff' but I ma watching a mini series (unheard of) as DD asleep for equally unheard of long nap.

I must get my presents wrapped
Bed made
Collect M&S stuff

Sort through unwanted clothes (must)