Self harm

[Lallylallz]

Yesterday I was having a particularly low day felt like one thing had gone wrong after another. While draining the pasta for dinner I accidently scolded my leg which has left a large red angry burn on my thigh. From the moment that water hit my leg the psychical pain took over from my emotional pain. Ever since I've been thinking about burning myself again. It's strange to say I liked the psychical pain and it stopped me over thinking even of it was just for a little while.

I'm struggling so much with trying not to do it I haven't boiled the kettle all day and had takeout for dinner as I didn't want to tempt fate.

How can I stop these feelings?

Hi Lally

I know those feelings. I burned, scratched and cut for 7 years before eventually kicking it 3 years ago with the help of CBT. The feelings returned recently and I'm seeing my GP this week.

What I can tell you is, self harm is not worth the hassle. I know the pain is a good distraction - for me it was a form of control, I had pain I could wallow in and marks I could look at and run my fingers over, which were MINE - but if you carry on, you'll come to need more pain and worse marks to get the same effect. Then, no matter how discreet you are, your DCs will notice and if they're anything like mine, will ask questions you don't want to answer.

No swimsuits. No short sleeves / bare legs. It's so, so not worth it.

Some people hold ice or twang elastic bands on their wrists, or draw on themselves. My counsellor suggested occupying my hands - even if that just meant hugging myself - and recognising the feelings, but also recognising that I didn't have to act on them. I could just let them be there and move on, because I was in control.

And if I did burn myself... Then I'd burnt myself. Once. It didn't mean I'd lost and it didn't mean I had to do it again.

Does that help? Feel free to PM me if you'd like to.

Aww thankyou. I've been a lil better today I'm going to try the band thing see if that offers me the distraction I need. Hopefully when the stress of Christmas passes. I can hopefully start to feel less like I'm drowning on daily basis.

Tell me about it! Glad you're feeling a bit better today.