How do you know if the dose is enough?

[BigBirthdayGloom]

I have been on citalopram (20mg) for a couple of months and its had an amazing effect on my anxiety. I get through most days without shouting and if I do, it's probably not unreasonable because I have a poor sleeping two year old and two other dc plus a dh who works long hours. I am starting to get motivated to do things like cooking and cleaning again and don't cry for no reason. In short, I think my depression is getting better too.
How much better can I expect to get? I mean, I am still very hard on myself and feel very guilty about how I've behaved towards my children whilst I've been poorly. And I still struggle to play lots with them and feel quite relieved when I get time away, where other friends say they're desperate to see their children. I also syruggle to get going in the morning, but then my youngest is with me from 4am and wakes up if I move, and then generally up from five, so perhaps that's tiredness, nay exhaustion making me feel like that rather than actual depression. I feel a bit less content and normal than I perceive my friends to be.

I guess the question I've been wittering towards is, how well is well enough and would I get even better on a higher dose? Or do the meds basically just get you back to able to function rather than solving it all?

It is a tricky one as some of your symptoms and difficulties could be related to caring for 3 young children with a partner with long hours and a lack of sleep ( when my little one was not good at sleeping mornings were very tough but better now he sleeps through for 12 hrs etc). I guess if you had two weeks of no children would that improve your energy etc? Not going to happen but if it makes a difference then perhaps some ( a little bit) of how you feel is normal, mother tiredness which does not help.

I am not too sure how honest friends etc are about how they are. And some people have a lot more family support than others ( or cleaners ext) which can help exhaustion, so hope you can be kind to yourself and not expect too much.

You could see your gp and tell them what you posted here, how it has helped but what you still struggling with ( and be honest about 3 kids and lack of sleep) and see what gp suggests? Maybe stay on the same and review after hectic time of Xmas? Or increase a dose to see if see an improvement? Whatever you are happy with I guess. It can help with many things but cannot replace 9 hours sleep a night and childcare etc. I find myself longing for my partner to be home sometimes then feel guilty as went thought Ivf to have my one child! But it is normal to desire adult company and not more plastic toys on occasion!!

Could you find one night a week when you could get out and have time for you? An exercise class, a course, see people etc? If it would help.

Ah, what a helpful post, thank you hoophopes . I guess I had a bit of a reality check on how tiredness contributes today when a friend was talking about how tough it was being woken today at five by her ds. Of course that's true and although you get used to it a lot when your dc are early risers, it did make me feel a little bit kinder towards myself-I've had nearly two and half years of broken sleep and very early mornings. I think I need to do some self help stuff now that I've got a bit more about me again-making myself go to bed earlier, eating better. When I was really stressed, I couldn't do anything but the bare, basic minimum. Perhaps the pills have got me to where I can start to help myself. And perhaps there's a magic wand for my little one's sleep too!

Gosh 2.5 yrs of broken sleep sounds awful. Note: I am only blessed with one child so thankfully apart from the odd bad night ( tonight is one due to teething!) he sleeps well. I do know in those early months Hiw exhausted I was and it was other mums at baby groups telling me: (a) Hiw shattered they were and how it affected them and (b) it gets better the more they sleep, that kept me going. Oh that and the odd lie in and dh doing his good share once stopped bf!!

So agree self help sounds good. You could try a month or so of good sleep hygiene, being kind to yourself etc etc and see if that makes a difference.

I do think life with 3 young children is a different experience to life with none though and sometimes it helps me to hear how others struggle and sometime good enough is indeed good enough.

Apart from when my ds sleeps badly ( or I am working late!) I find getting 8-9 hrs a night makes the days more bearable and I can do more when I have rested well.

I am trying to achieve one thing a day, however small on top of essential living ( eg clean fridge one day, wipe microwave the next, make a phonecall another day etc). Some days I do two :-) and then reward myself ( eg nice magazine on a Friday night, or film night etc on a Friday night etc!!!)