Suffered severe anxiety all my life. What can I do to get rid of it? Feel worn out.

[PMTIsMe]

I'm in my 40's and have always had problems with anxiety. It's as if I am constantly on high alert for something awful to happen. I find it hard to even pop up the road to Tescos to get a pint of milk, I feel sick in the run up to leaving the house. Socialising is very hard and my friends despair of the number of times I cancel where I bottle out last minute. There's really not very much at all that doesn't leave me feeling sick and horrible in the build up to it. However, since clearly I can't just hide, I have always worked hard to push through it so that I have had a successful career before the DCs, and I do make myself go out if we need shopping in etc. People would never guess either, since I have a very calm and in control facade.

And so I found myself in a completely ordinary situation last week that for me felt momentarily over whelming. And I just feel so utterly fed up and worn out that I react to everything this way. If anything, I feel like its getting worse. I feel totally over-sensitive.

I have had loads of counselling over the years, CBT too, and I am already on anti-depressants. I'm not sure what else I can do. Anyone relieved their anxiety successfully? I would love to know how.

Could you go and talk to your GP specifically about the anxiety? There are meds that can help with anxiety.

Have you tried something like Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction? That can help. It relieved me for a great deal, I only get anxious in very stressful times. Had a bit of a relapse lately so need to get on the case again...

I could have written that myself! Its horrible isn't it?

Sorry thats not helpful, although sometimes it helps to realise its not just you feeling like this :)

For me all i think i can do is power on through it and accept that i feel this way generally.

i would second a trip to dr specicifically about anxiety but as i say the only thing that works for me is making myself get out otherwise i would be a total hermit!

Sorry crap post! Trying to do dinner while getting ready to go to dcs carol concert!

Sorry crap post! Trying to do dinner while getting ready to go to dcs carol concert!

Hi there. I completely sympathise with you.
October 2012 was my rock bottom. I couldn't even face going out of the house. I was put on citalopram which did nothing to help. I persevered for 11 months then switched meds. I forced myself to go back to work. New job and I can honestly say I'm 80 % back to how I was before I had anxiety.
You have to keep your brain and body busy. Immerse yourself in a new project that takes up all your thinking time.
When I wasn't working I thought about anxiety all the time. I used to check in with my anxiety as soon as I opened my eyes in the mornings. First thing in the morning was always the worst time for me. Now I don't stop to check in. I jump out of bed and get busy. I promise you it is the answer.
Like you I have cancelled countless social events. Let people down etc. I would say that my children and my friends have been very supportive but my oh just thinks I'm making his life difficult.
I have also had counselling, cbt, hypnotherapy, I've tried everything. The only thing that works is to focus your mind completely on something else. Something that you love doing.
My new job has literally saved my life.
Good luck.

Belated thanks for the replies, and sorry to hear a few of you suffer a lot too. I have tried CBT and it has helped with my depression but doesn't seem to touch the anxiety. And I have tried mindfulness too..sometimes it helps, but often I'm just too anxious to be able to get into it, if that makes sense. I have just had to pop up to Tesco and I feel sick now Seems bloody ridiculous that I can't rationalise my way out of it. I think I will try the doc. TBH I often think its the constant anxiety that leads to the depression, so in many ways I do wonder if I have got my treatment the wrong way round. Deep breath and keep busy! Thanks all.

Have a check online of illnesses which cause anxiety, or h (auto-immune/thyroid problems)ave it as a symptom. Graves disease or Hashimotos are relatively common, you'd need to think whether you have other symptoms.

pmt hope you're ok. Just popping on to add that i find something to distract me really helps, like a hobby you can really get into. For me i do cross stitch as i have to concentrate and i find it really relaxing.

Playing with play doh, colouring in and doing puzzles (obviously with the dc) helps too.

I was also recommended a book by Claire Weeks which i found really helpful. Its really old but she explains everything really well.

Also you could try your local mind.

"Seems bloody ridiculous that I can't rationalise my way out of it.... TBH I often think its the constant anxiety that leads to the depression, so in many ways I do wonder if I have got my treatment the wrong way round."

I think you may well have got that right. It is utterly exhausting and that constant fight or flight battle is depressing. It seems to work on your hormones, in the sense that the high adrenaline levels mess you up, leading to depression.
Thinking is not the way out, I have always given myself a hard time for not being able to think my way out of a depression. It's the whip that keeps you down. It is not the way to get better or feel better about yourself. If you are too anxious sometimes to get into meditation maybe listening to some guided meditations can help? Or a talk? I like Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, those kind of american Buddhist/psychotherapists. Gentle, not too woo. You can find loads of talks online. Here for example: Dharma Seed Talks
Good luck.

OP I know exactly what you mean about thinking you should be able to rationalise yourself out of it. I also get what you're saying about mindfulness. A book that really helped me is 'The Compassionate Mind' by Paul Gilbert. It is sort of half rationalising and half mindfulnessy. What I found fascinating and reassuring about it was his explanations of WHY our minds get in trouble like this - how they developed these unfortunate anxiety behaviours (from an evolutionary point of view). He also talks a lot about how to train ourselves out of it.

Thanks for the replies, will go and look into the books etc people have suggested. I really want to be able to meditate, so will persevere there too

It's so useful getting other people's input. I have always given myself a bit of a hard time for not 'sorting myself out' anxiety wise. And I hide it so well. I confessed to my sister yesterday and she had absolutely no idea how bad I can feel. She was really quite shocked. And then I kind of down played it by saying its no big deal since I have always been like this, I'm used to it. But I'm actually rather wondering now why I haven't realised before that not everyone experiences this. It is my norm. But it really isn't everyones!

Off to talk to my GP tomorrow.

Do u read?